A Note Entitled: The Annoying Disregard for Others [Alternately Titled: People, Curb Your Children!]

Last Friday night Dave and I went to a nearby Mexican restaurant we’ve been to a few times. Normally it’s a nice quiet place with decent food at a reasonable price. Not so that night. That night as soon as we walked in I knew we had a problem. It was loud. There was jiggidy-jiggidy Spanish rap music playing.

Really? How is this conducive to a nice dinner atmosphere? It’s not a night-club or a bar. It’s a restaurant.

We were seated and it got worse. Directly behind us there was a grandmother, mother, and 2 little kids ages 3-5 I’d guess. They were being SO LOUD! The girls were up standing between our table and theirs dancing wildly and singing loudly (making up their own words). The mother and daughter were having a nice conversation not caring at all that the two little girls were running around yelling. Add this to the jiggidy-jiggidy music and there was no way I was going to be experiencing an enjoyable evening.

I get that kids are loud. I get that they get silly. Seriously, I had 4! But there was this total disregard for others that I find so annoying in people today! The mom and daughter we able to talk and the kids weren’t bothering them so why would they stop the kids? They weren’t bothering them but the other 5 or 6 tables in the restaurant were definitely being bothered!

(Disclamer: This was a restaruant. It was not Chucky Cheese or a fast food joint with a playland. If you go there, kids will be running amuck. That's why they are there. You're in their world now. You can't go to a place like that and complain about the noise.)

I don’t mean to sound judgmental. Really I don’t. I have had my kids behave in a not so nice way in public before. It’s embarrassing! But the thing is, when you see an overwhelmed parent or parents eating at a restaurant and their kids are being less than stellar in their behavior, but those harried parents are trying, I don’t know about you, but I want to go over there and give them a pat on the back, tell them one day it’ll get easier and offer to entertain the bored toddler or hold the fussy baby while they finish their dinner.

But when I see parents totally okay with their kids running amuck and bothering everyone but ignoring it because it’s easier to ignore that engage…? Yeah, that makes me see red.

I remember once when Bryce was about 5 and Gunnar was about 2 and I was miserably pregnant with Evelyn we went with a realtor to look at houses. He took us to a house that was being shown by the owner and when we were in the garage they all got to talking and we were just standing around this warm garage. This was the last room to see and I’d held hands and entertained and kept them quiet and made sure that the boys didn’t touch anything and we were all worn down. All of a sudden, while he was right smack in the middle of the circle of adults, Bryce looked down at the garage floor and spat. Right on the floor. There was a collective silence and the home owner was absolutely horrified and gave me a rather nasty look. I apologized, took the boys back through the house and out the front door to our waiting car and sat there, waiting for the ground to just go ahead and swallow me up. When later asked why he would do that, Bryce said that the garage is just like outside, and it’s okay to spit outside right? *sigh*

So, while my child did something awful and insulting to this poor homeowner, I as the parent at least had the decency to look properly horrified and remove the child from the environment post-haste. I probably should have cleaned up the spit first, but I was in fight-or-flight mode at that point. I fled!

I’ve been there. Parenting is hard. Kids can be unruly. But parents, please, don’t give up. Keep trying. Keep working at it. Be considerate of your child’s behavior around others, so that one day they will learn to be considerate themselves.

After sitting for a few minutes in the restaurant, we decided to leave. We left a few dollars on the table for the 2 or 3 chips we’d eaten and our glasses of water and walked out the door. Dave did stop on the way out and mention to our waitress that it was just too loud in the restaurant for us to stay. The waitress looked over at the yelling, dancing girls and said, “I understand.” I felt bad for her.

We went down the road a bit to another little Mexican place (this is Texas, you can throw a stick and hit 2). This place was okay. The food was mediocre, but you know what? It was quite. Non jiggidy-jiggidy Spanish music was playing at a reasonable level and all the kids in the restaurant were sitting at the tables with their parents and not yelling. So, in my book? Score!

I remembered this article that I’d read a few years ago and thought I’d post a link here. This guy said it so much better than me, and he did it with such wit and humor. I was cracking UP!

The Times, They Are a-Changing

I am now the mother to two college students and two high school students.

These kids.

Are now these kids.

What?

No matter how much you wish time to slow, it never does. Gunnar graduated high school in May. Here is a shot of his senior table. John Deer sheets (he’s had those sheets since he was a toddler and they’re still his favorite!) and a gas can. Yes, a gas can.

He wanted to put his motorcycle on the table and call it good, but they wouldn’t let him bring it in the building. Seriously. He asked.

Just about every photo of him in his slideshow and on his table was taken outside. He’s that kind of kid.

The day after graduation he was supposed to hop in his car and drive 17 hours to a dude ranch in Colorado for his summer job. But this was not to be.

He made a comment on Friday about how he thought he might be getting a cavity. By Saturday he was sure he was getting a cavity and was taking some Advil and had some pain during the graduation ceremony and after-party. I gave him all of our dental insurance info and told him he’d need to find a dentist up near the ranch. When he woke up Sunday morning, the day he was to leave, the entire side of his jaw was swollen and he was in excruciating pain.

Instead of going to Colorado, we went to the ER. Turns out, he had an abscessed tooth. He had a traumatic root canal 10 months ago where the dentist broke off the drill in his tooth and it took 2 days to do the whole procedure. It was horrid! Apparently, that can leave pockets in the jaw where bacteria can get and cause this problem. I was amazed at how fast it happened. The ER doc gave him a shot of antibiotics and some pain meds. We got into an oral surgeon on Monday morning. This doc was wonderful. We were initially told he was busy all day, but when he heard how bad off Gunnar was he said to bring him in right then. So we did. He basically opened his office early for Gunnar.

He saw him and scheduled him for surgery the very next morning. The doc said that this is a very dangerous infection and left untreated could be FATAL! Holy cow! He said that it’s a very good thing it happened before he left and not in The Middle of Nowhere, Co. By the time Gunnar went in for surgery, the entire side of his face was swollen, and his eye was almost swollen shut. He was a mess.

Within 24 hours of having that tooth removed he looked back to normal. (He’ll be getting an implant when he comes home in the Fall. Cha ching!! But I’ll not think about that now.) It was amazing. The bad part of the whole deal was that he had to stay home for a whole week recovering. He had to sit around and do nothing. If you know Gunnar you know how hard that is for him. The first day after surgery he was asking to use his chainsaw (to remove a tree that fell the night before) ride his motorcycle, go out with friends. Sheesh! 

That kid does not know the meaning of rest!

The following Tuesday morning we had a 9am appointment with the surgeon where he got clearance to leave and he was on the road, Colorado bound, by 10 am.

That was two weeks ago. I’ve talked to him a few times and it sounds like he is having the time of his life up there. If he were not signed up for EMT/Fire Academy in the Fall, I’d be afraid he would not come home.

Also this summer, Evelyn will be getting her driver’s license. And Annika has moved up to high school in the church youth group. Lots of changing going on around here. Next school year is going to look very strange. Both of the boys at college; Bryce getting his associates in Paramedicine, Gunnar doing EMT and Fire Academy (Bryce has completed that already). Evelyn taking Duel Credit classes at community college, and Annika taking high school classes at our co op. Annika is really the only one I’ll be doing much hoeschooling with. I guess I’ll have some free time next school year.

Maybe I can finally get those closets cleaned out…

The End Of Our Homeschool Year And The Beginning of Summer

 We had our Homeschool Co Op Open House last night. It’s always nice to see the culmination of all the students’ hard work throughout the year.

There are some extremely talented kids our co op. There was beautiful art on the walls, a demonstration of the Waltz, English Country Dance, and good ol’ fashioned Country Line Dancing as well (this is Texas after-all)  put on by the Dancing Through Time Class. The band played, the little kids played their recorders, the bigger kids played string instruments, and the Show Tunes classes each did a scene from their plays. Truly amazing group of kids we have.

The Spanish Classes sang songs in Spanish, there were science projects on display, engineering marvels made from K’nex on display from the Jr. Engineers class, and an induction into the Honor Society. Then the regular folks like me had various things on display to show what we do in our classes. I had some picture books out as well as some of the illustrations my little kids did, and some of my Creative Writing student’s stories out for parents to see.

It was a great night. It was a fun night. It was an exhausting night. I loved it. I’m glad it’s over.

Today our official summer begins, so I made up some goodie bags to kick off the summer fun. (Both girls have 2 subjects they will be working on throughout the summer, but we’ll not talk about that now.)

I found these cute little bags at Walmart. They were pretty inexpensive at $5 a bag. They’re the prefect size to throw a towel, sunglasses, and some sunscreen into and head to the pool.

I put a few summer goodies into the bags. Things you need to survive a summer in Texas like sunscreen, chap stick, cocoa butter lotion, (because nothing smells like summer more that cocoa butter) and Visine for pool eyes.

Then I threw in a few fun things like silly string (because, HELLO! CELEBRATE! IT’S SUMER!!) a beach ball for pool volleyball, a cute tank top,  some nail polish, remover, and emery boards (it’s very important to keep those toenails looking nice during Flip-Flop season!) and last but not least, their favorite snack cake treat. For Ev it’s Zebra Cakes and for Annika it’s fried pies.

Summer has begun!

  

 

Only one daughter is pictured here with her summer fun things… the other is still in her bed. At 11:00. Because it’s summer and she can. 

Another Senior

Bryce's girlfriend Haleigh, who is a great photographer, just did Gunnar's senior photos.

Yes, this guy...

...is now a senior. Sigh. So fast..so fast...

As Haleigh has learned since she and Bryce started dating, we do very little in the normal way around here. Gunnar humored me and Haleigh by allowing a few normal, every day, senior photos. The ones like these...

But this is what he was really after... 

Gunnar on his motorcycle, in his cap and gown, doing a wheelie. 

I guess that's the measure of a really good photographer. Capturing the essence of ones subject. 

I believe she captured Gunnar's essence perfectly.

A Homeschooling Exposé

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time. These thoughts have been bouncing around in my head, trying to get organized, trying to get voiced. To put these thoughts out there makes me feel a little bit like a Whistle-blower  I’m ratting out my people. But the truth is the truth, and in my little corner of the internet, this is the truth as I see it.

Years ago, before electricity and the invention of the wheel, I began homeschooling. It was a very serious and frightening undertaking. I, who owns no diploma of higher education, was saying to the world, “I think I can do a better job educating my child than a trained diploma-ed teacher!” That’s pretty bold, and some would say, arrogant.

We began. We dug in. We bought all the texts, and took all the tests, and read all the books. I had all the scope and sequences and I followed them to the letter. I was not going to screw this up!

The years passed and I became a little more relaxed. I figured out how my children learned best and we went with it. I tailored the education to the child. As they got older and the subject matter more frightening, (Hello dissections and algebra!) we began to take classes here and there outside of our home at home school co ops and community colleges. But never, in all those years, did I fail to take seriously this undertaking called Homeschooling.  Sure, we had failures. Kids forgot homework for co op classes, things were let slide, things got pushed to the back burner during times of stress, but the nagging, brutal, understanding that ‘This was their education!’ was never far from my mind.

Over the years I’ve seen a very concerning trend among my people. The only thing I can think to call it is a lack of seriousness, of weightiness put on this thing called homeschooling.

When I first started there was really one main way a child was homeschooled. You got the books from the publishers, those publishers who sold to Christian schools too, and you used them. One textbook for each subject, just like in a classroom. This became rapidly overwhelming to accomplish. 8 textbooks x 3 or 4 kids? With only one teacher?

So we told ourselves to relax, to combine. That they would learn. It would be okay. And it was. Turns out, there really is more than one way to skin a cat (just ask my kids who’ve taken Anatomy and actually skinned a cat!) You can teach multiple ages history at one time. You can do science experiments together. You can have the older child read to the younger. You can teach grammar in one year, intensively, in Jr. High instead of a little every year.  So we all took a deep breath and relaxed a little.

But I think maybe, as it often happens, the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. I am seeing homeschooling families where both parents work an 8 to 5 outside of the home. How does that work? I mean, if you have someone else (grandma, a friend, etc) doing the schooling, great. But there really are Jr. High/High School kids at home doing their school alone. Really? I have a Jr. High Student. I’m not seeing it.  I have seen parents who sign up their children for classes at our local home school co op and then don’t oversee anything and their kids don’t do the work. But I bet that class is still showing up on their transcript as completed.

I’m seeing elementary age children who, frankly, are never taught to sit down and stop talking! I know, I know, it sounds awful. But there it is. There are places in this world that are not a child’s playground or classroom. Sometimes they share space with others; adults and children alike, and they need to know their place. I have seen a lack of respect for places and people among my homeschooling compatriots that makes me shudder. Yes, children are learning all the time but that does not mean it’s perfectly okay to let little Suzy climb all over the seats while the rest of us are trying to listen to the presentation.

I’m all for exploration, but let’s be respectful! There is a time to listen. To not talk. To not voice ones opinion. To not ask questions. There is a time for children to be quiet and let the adults talk. Why are our children not learning this anymore? Because I’m telling you, their public/private school counterparts sure are. They have to take turns, and line up, and be quiet. They have to learn that there is a time to explore and be inquisitive, and a time to be still.

This is not a public vs. private vs. home school commentary. I am no longer in the camp, ‘There is only one right way.’ I see benefits and drawbacks to all educating choices. But Homeschooling Parents? It’s time to take a long, hard look at what kind of children we’re putting out into the world.

We seem to have swung from those homeschooling kids who win all the Spelling Bees and Geography Bees, and can recite all the Presidents in order, and who graduate at 12 because they never take summer break, to kids who simply don’t know how to behave in public and have a ‘B’ listed on their high school transcript for a class they didn't turn in any homework for.

Perhaps we should aim for something a little more in the middle. A little healthier. We don’t all have to be rocket scientists, but it would be great if we could all at least learn how to behave.

~ A Concerned Homeschooling Parent

(Who will now be moving, and changing her name.)

Fruits, Veggies, and Frugality

Today's Bountiful Baskets Haul. And this was a HAUL! 

Check out what I paid for all of this. It astounds me every time I buy in. (twice a month). $62.25! I mean, that's amazing. Just the first list of fruit/veggies would cost over $60 at the local grocery store.

If you've ever thought of trying out bountiful baskets let me encourage you to do so. Or, rather, let my photo, list of fruit/veggies and the dollar amount I paid for it, do so! 

2 Living Butter Lettuce

8 HUGE carrots

4 acorn squash

10 bananas

10 little pears

8 green bell peppers

14 roma tomatoes

10 huge Fuji apples

16 Moro or Blood Oranges

2 bunches of asparagus

= $30 (This was 2 basket orders at $15 each)

2 zucchini

6 small limes, 1 lemon

1 tomatillo

2 yellow onion

1 bunch of onion

3 bunches of garlic

1 small bit of ginger root

1 bunch cilantro

2 avocado

2 ancho or poblanopepper

5 jalapeño pepper

= $8.50 (Mexican Theme Add on Pack)

3 beets

1 bunch of celery

2 bunches of chard

1 bag spinach

1 bunch parsley

= $8.00 (Juicing Pack)

12, 6 oz boxes of blackberries (Fruit Box Add On)

=$14.25

Total bill for all of the above = $62.65

(I may have put some of the items in the wrong list as I didn't really pay attention to what was where when I unloaded it all. Just FYI.)

Technology and What We Leave Behind.

I have to admit that I’ve gotten a bit lazy lately as far as Bibles go. I have this giant, hardback, Study Bible that I used to tote everywhere; to Sunday School, Church, Bible Study. It was the one I’d read during the day for my devotionals or if I needed to looks something up. It’s full of margin scribbles, highlights, and church bulletins from about 5 years ago. That was about the time I stopped carrying it.

Now there are IPhone and IPad Aps and Google. I get a daily devotional delivered right to my email inbox and my Facebook feed.  So why carry a giant Bible around when the thing I always carry in my pocket has the whole Bible in it? And anyway, they put the scripture up on the screen at church, so why bother with the big, clunky thing?

When my father in law, a lifelong bible translator, died last May, my mother in law gave my oldest son (his namesake, first grandson) his Bible. It is a large, black, worn, leather bible.  It’s full of highlights, underlined scriptures, notes in the margin, and random things stuck in the pages.

 It is like FarFar is still talking to his grandson, still pointing him to scripture, still explaining it, and still showing how it all fits together, even after his death.

That Bible is a gift and a treasure. It made me think about what I’m going to leave behind for my kids as far as my thoughts and what I’ve learned about scripture throughout my life. My IPhone? Are they one day going to pass my IPad around between the four of them and say “Wow, look what mom said about this scripture. How cool.” Yeah, I don’t think so.

So I went to my closet and pulled down that big, old, clunky, hardback, Study Bible. Because I want to have something to leave behind too.  Something tangible. Something they can hold on too.

HELP!!

Annika is doing her science fair project on Dog Paw Preference. Can you help? Can you do these 4 simple tests with your dog and send me the results? We need as many test subjects as we can get. If you can help out don't forget to tell me your dogs name along with the results of the 4 tests. 

Thanks!!

Here is a video example of what we are looking for...

Ways to test paw preference…

· Have your dog "shake", notice which paw your dog offers most often.

· Give your dog a puzzle treat toy. Place it directly in the center of your dog's line of vision (not off to the left or right side) and see which paw your dog first touches the toy with and which paw he uses most often to hold the treat toy.


· Put a small piece of tape on your dog's snout and see which paw he uses to remove it.


· Place a treat or a toy under the sofa just out of your dog's reach and see which paw he uses to try to grab for it.

Here is a video of how to do the tests. If you can, in the comments tell me the name of your dog and the results of the test. THANKS!

Christmas 2012

It’s hard to believe another Christmas has come and gone. We moved into our new house exactly one year ago, the weekend before Christmas. I have loved living here. I still walk around this house with its large, open rooms, and its beautiful windows, and thank God that He lets me live here.

We have an enormous Christmas tree this year. This is what happens when I let Dave pick the tree. It’s about 6’ in diameter! I tease him, but it has been fun to be able to have a big tree. We’ve never been able to do that before.

This Christmas was a quiet one. It’s the first without FarFar. That was hard. I kept looking over at the recliner he sat in last year and played Dave’s new ukulele and made us all laugh. I know he’s in Heaven laughing with Jesus, but we do miss him; and half of Dave’s side of the family was out of town this year.

We were supposed to have my side of the family over on Christmas Eve, but that didn’t happen. Dave developed a pretty bad cough and I sent him to the Urgent Care place to get some antibiotics. I was pretty sure he had bronchitis. I’d been sick just about the whole month of Nov and it took two rounds of antibiotics for me to kick it, so I figured we’d better get Dave started so he didn’t miss much work after the holiday. 

Well…the Dr at the Urgent Care place said he had pneumonia! Imagine our surprise! The Dr said that’s probably what I had in Nov (not Bronchitis as I was told) and I gave it to him. So we had to cancel Christmas with my family. It was sad, but they all live here. It’s not like they were in from out of town. We can reschedule.

Christmas Eve was a quiet event. Just the 6 of us. I must admit that my attitude got the better of me that day. We’d planed a fun night and had lots of food and then…nothing. The guys sat around and watch motorsports on TV and the girls hung out in their rooms or the game room. It was very anticlimactic. I’d been fighting it all Christmas season, and I finally just gave into it a bit on Christmas Eve; the sadness that my kids are growing up.

It’s silly I know, but I really do miss the fun of Christmas with little ones. There was no one to do Advent with this year. When we pulled the Advent wreath out of the attic, someone had put the candles in on top when they put it away last year and they melted all over the wreath, rendering it useless. I had to throw away the wreath we’d been using since the kids were little. It was a foreshadowing of what was to come. No one was home to do Advent this year. The boys are so busy with work and school and social lives, the girls too with social activities, Dave often works late. There were many nights it was just me home at dinner time with the kids wandering in at different times, eating when they got home. It is a new stage and I’ve got to figure out how to make the best of it. They do grow up. They do move out. It’s how it’s supposed to work. I was a little grumpy when I went to bed that night.

When I got up in the morning, before all the kids (That’s a first! WE had to wake THEM up!), I saw this under the tree.

I’d told Dave I wanted some chairs like this a few months ago, and he remembered and got them for me.  He also got me a few other things that were really nice. Not expensive or fancy, but things that he knew I’d like.

 The kids also all got me things this year that I really love. Some beautiful candle sticks from one of my sons, a gift card to Barnes and Noble (because I have a Nook) from the other, new Tupperware from one daughter because she’d heard me saying how I really need to go through the Tupperware cabinet and get rid of most of it and get new stuff, and my other daughter got me a lovely little teapot to match my collection.

I don’t mean to sound greedy or materialistic, because I’m really not. I love gift giving. I love to get just the right thing for just the right person. It’s not about the money spent; it’s about finding that one thing that you know is going to put a smile on their face. This year, my kids did that for me. Each item I received from them and my husband was something that they knew I’d love because they were paying attention. They know me. It was a reminder to me that having them grow up is not such a bad thing.

 I didn’t have little boys in matching Christmas sweaters or little girls in fancy velvet dresses and stockings at the Christmas Eve service. I didn’t have kids so excited about Advent that they argued over whose turn it was to light the candle that night and listened with rapt attention to the Advent readings. I didn’t have kids up before the sun to see what Santa left in their stockings. Instead I had daughters who worked in the nursery on Christmas Eve so the young mothers could hear the service. I had boys who went and picked up their grandma on Christmas Day so she didn’t have to drive in the bad weather.  I had kids who really thought about what would make their momma happy on Christmas Day.

Even thought Dave was a bit sick, and there were no little ones squealing with delight; even though FarFar is no longer here with us, and half the family was out of town, it was still a special Christmas. Because really, what do you need to make Christmas special? Jesus already did all the work to make it special, we just have to remember and be thankful. 

Where There Is Evil There Is No Safety.

We've all had a few days to process the evil that happened in Newtown. Maybe process is the wrong word. It is not really possible to process that kind of horror. It just sinks in, and settles around you like a dark, ominous cloud making it hard to see and breathe. But we’ve come to the point in the horror where we’re looking for the ‘why’. We want to know why so we can make sure it never, ever happens again.

I've seen many ideas from many sides of many arguments on how to make sure we stay safe. More guns in the hands of the righteous, fewer guns in the hands of the evil, more homeschooling, prayer back in school, a nice Christian Republican in the White House. That’ll do it. That’ll fix it.

As if there was not evil before guns. What did Kane use to Kill Able? The Ancient Romans used lions and all watched for sport. Have there been no tragedies, no horrors coming out of the homes of homeschoolers? No, evil is there too. Do we think that because we've legislated God out of our public school system that He was sitting on the curb that day in Newton, holding his head in his hands saying, “If they’d just let me in there, I could stop this.”? George W Bush was the closest thing we've had to a Christian Republican in the White House and 9-11 happened on his watch.

The truth is there is no safety for our bodies on this earth. Where there is evil, there is no safety. We are kidding ourselves if we think there is. No place is safe: not churches, not fast food restaurants, not movie theaters, not malls, not even kindergarten classrooms. There is only safety for our souls.

I am not an evangelist. I try to live my life in such a way that when I am looked at, Jesus is seen. I am not perfect, nor is my family, not by any stretch of the imagination, but I love my Lord and I pray people see that when they see me. I don’t shout from the rooftops “REPENT AND BE SAVED!” but I try very hard to always have an answer for the hope that is within me, because as Christians, we don’t mourn as those who have no hope. Despite the evil that is rampant on this earth, we have the hope of eternal life; we have the hope that this life is not the end for those that know the Savior. And we want everyone to know the Savior. That Savior whose birth we are celebrating in a few short days. That Savior who came to earth so that EVERYONE might be saved. This tragedy in Newtown reminds us of how short life can be. How tragic. Knowing the Savior is our only hope.

It is easy for me to say those things, it was not my child slaughtered by a madman on Friday. It was not my mentally ill son who finally went over the edge and did such a heinous thing; the thing I’d lived in fear of his whole life. I simply cannot imagine the pain they feel.

When something like this happens, in some strange way, I begin to understand those reckless Christians a little better, those who daily risk their lives so others can know Him. Those that throughout history put their lives on the line, some losing them, so more people can know the Lord. I think they really understood, better than I, the fragility of life. They understood that there is no safety where there is evil. Our only hope is that more and more know safety for their souls. That more know The Savior