I've been having a flair-up for a few weeks now and it's quite frustrating. I have things I'd like to accomplish and my stupid body is making it quite difficult. It's hard to keep a good attitude when every step hurts. I've had to switch to my smaller RTIC cup because I can't lift my bigger one without pain or fear of dropping it, and I’m walking around with the gait of a 90-year-old woman.
It would be very easy to have a woe-is-me attitude or be angry and grumpy. (It's a constant fight. Sometimes I do lose that battle and get snippy, gripey and grumpy. Just ask my family.)
It gets especially hard when I am reminded that I can feel so much better in another state. We spent last week in Arkansas where the dew point was around 17 and I felt better. I am pretty sure I walked without a limp all weak, and I lifted my big RTIC cup without thought. But now I'm back in humid Tx, with its rapidly shifting weather patterns and I'm back to much pain. It's frustrating. Feel good and be away from all my people, or live where my beloved people are and feel awful a lot of the time. Of course, I chose my people.
So today, I look at the sign in my bedroom with the quote from G. K. Chesterton: “Here ends another day, during which I have had eyes, ears, hands and the great world around me. Tomorrow begins another day. Why am I allowed two?” and I think on that. I am not living on the street. In fact, I live in a nice home that is air conditioned and heated appropriately. I have hot and cold running water at my fingertips and light at the flip of a switch. I have machines that wash and dry my clothes and dishes. I even have a car with seats that warm up so my bum won’t be uncomfortable on a chilly winter day, and a cold pool of clean water right outside my back door to float in when it is hot outside. These are things that could easily be taken for granted because much of America has them, but not most of the world. Why did God choose to give me these things and not a mud hut in a village in some third world country? What makes me more deserving? A big fat nothing, I can tell you. It’s simply a gift.
And this is just my physical blessings. This speaks nothing of the people He has put in my life; like my amazing, giving, hard-working husband who is ever-patient with my annoying health. God not only gave me the four most amazing children in the whole wide world, who all love each other, and love the Lord, and work hard, and love well, but he added to that two amazing daughters-in-law who fit like they have always been in this family. They not only fit, but they each add in the thing that the family didn’t even know we were missing before they arrived. I have a grand baby on the way, and the thought of that fills my heart with unspeakable joy. I have an extended family, almost all near-by, who love to get together and spend time with one another.
So, here I sit in my recliner because my body refuses to do any of the eleventy million things that desperately need to get done today. Instead of getting angry and bitter, or down and sad, I have decided to count my blessings.
I’ve put the happy citrus smelling oils in my diffuser, brewed up a pot of the good coffee, and chosen to count my blessings and ignore the pain.
Almost constant aching aside, I live a pretty amazing life. One that is a total gift and not one that I earned. One that I will be ever grateful for.
Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gifts. 2 Corinthians 9:15