I Hear Loud Drunk People

Sarah and I decided it was time for our annual or by-annual or tri-annual, (or as often as our husbands will allow) hotel weekend getaway. It is a glorious time where we bring all kinds of snacky foods and our favorite pj’s and head for the hotel. The plan is to make it the whole weekend without leaving the hotel room. We watch movies, we read, we talk, we sleep, it’s glorious.



Our weekend started off nicely. We went by Whole Foods and got lots of yummy foods and most of them were healthy and even those that weren’t, were still organic, so you know, less guilt! And as a side, those were the best tasting organic peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies EVER!

Our first day passes gloriously uneventful. We ate, we talked, we watched movies, we serupticiously watched the social interaction going at the pool below us, it was heavenly. We eventually got tired of all the relaxing and headed to bed. Because I had had coffee later than usual and because I’m not 20 anymore (darn-it!) I couldn’t sleep. I lay in bed awake for about half an hour. Right as I was about to drift off, I was startled by sudden loud voices. Many, loud voices. They were getting off the elevators, loudly, at 1 am. I waited for them to make it down the hall to their rooms so I could try to get over the shot of adrenalin their jarring voices shot into my system, and go back to sleep.

The voices continued. Loudly. I waited. Finally, they started moving from the elevators. I listened as their voices got even louder as they passed right in front of my door. They were so loud it was as if they were standing at the end of my bed! Then, much to my horror, I heard a door crash open then close, the very next door.
“You’ve GOT to be kidding me” I mumbled. If it were possible, they were even louder in the next room! I laid there for a while, hoping they would settle down and go to bed. Um, no. After listening for a while and counting voices, at least 7, I was pretty sure they were not going to bed anytime soon.

As I listened to their conversation, and it was not eavesdropping because the people in China could hear their conversation, I got more and more irritated. Also, I learned quite a few new words. And I had to control my overpowering urge to go over there and box their ears or wash their mouths out or send those boys to a corner! Sheesh! Do they kiss their momma’s with that mouth??

Finally, I could not take it anymore. I got up and turned on the lamp. Sarah was also now awake. She made it longer than I did due to her earplugs, but eventually the noise of these partiers penetrated even Sarah’s super strength ear plugs.

I called down to the front desk. I told them of our partying neighbors and asked if there was something they could do. They said they’d send up security.

We waited and finally security knocked on the partier’s door. Security had to knock twice to be heard over all the ruckus. Finally we heard the partiers responding to the security guard. We didn’t hear the security guard because he was speaking in normal, 1 am tones, the partiers were still speaking in ‘we’re at the Club!’ tones.

We heard the door shut and the slight ding of the elevator telling us the security guy left. We heard great guffawing from the room next door, then we did NOT hear quite.

I called back down to the front desk to tell them their ‘talking too’ had not worked. The front desk offered to move us. Fabulous. Just what I wanted to do, gather up all my stuff and wander around the hotel at 1 am. But it was very clear to Sarah and I that these people were completely trashed and being quite was a physical impossibility at this point. We had two options, to wait till they drank themselves into a stupor, or move. We chose the latter.

We packed up our stuff, threw on our robes and slippers and were just about to head out the door when we heard their door open and the ruckus spill out into the hall. Should we go out there? Should we wait? They’re pretty darn drunk, and they’ll know it was us that complained. We decided to wait. Well after several minutes they didn’t move so we called down to security again to escort us to the next room.

As soon as security got off the elevator, it got quiet again. It seemed they had gone back into the room. The security guy walked us down two floors to our next room. Now let me mentioned that this security guy did not inspire confidence. To start off with, I was bigger than him. He was this little slip of a guy, he smelled of alcohol himself and he was unarmed. Seriously, I’m more menacing than this guy. But at least he had a walkie so he could call down for help if the need were to arise.

We stepped off the elevator and once we were in the foyer, we heard the elevator doors to the next elevator come open. It was an elevator full of our partiers! Seems they were moving their party to another room. Kind of them I guess, but still they were so loud they could wake the dead. I looked at them, 8 people, 6 guys and 2 girls. 20 something. They halted in their steps when they saw us. It was obvious what was going on. They did not get off the elevator.

Sarah, the wee security guard and I made it to our room and the guard said goodnight. We put down our bags and were about to hop into bed when we heard it…AGAIN! The partiers other room was, wait for it…in the room next door.

“I don’t think so!”

I am sorry to say, 1 am Trish appeared. She is very grumpy, impatient, and irritable. Just ask Dave. “I am going to ask them what room they’re in so we can move again to somewhere they’re NOT” I say.

“um, are you sure that’s a good idea?” says sensible Sarah. “Maybe we should call the security guard again.

“Yeah, I don’t think so, what help is he, he does not even have a gun. I’m better armed that that guy.”

So I swing open the door, surprising the 20 something partiers (and Sarah, I think). They all stop in their tracks. They had a giant cooler full of what I can only assume is more beer on a luggage trolley. They had the door next to us open and half of them were already in the room.

“Excuse me” I say in a 1 am Trish tone. “Could you tell me what rooms you all are in so we can move elsewhere? I don't mean to kill your fun, but we need to get some sleep.”

“Um” says the drunk guy spokesman, “No…ma’am, we’re all quiet now. Really” large hand gesticulations, and beer sloshing out of the can, “you won’t hear from ush no more, we’re all done making noish” slur slur, slosh, slosh.

Whatever. I try again, speaking in clear even tones as to a very small child. Keep in mind all the other drunk guys are standing there, unmoving, staring like a deer in headlights.

“Is. That. Your. Room?”

“yesh”

“Are. You. Staying. In. That. Room?”

“yesh”

“Thank you, that’s all I need to know. Enjoy your evening, gentleman.” And I shut the door. Sarah looked a bit astounded because 1 am Trish is much more daring and confrontational that daytime Trish.

We call down and to the astonishment of the front desk, asked to be moved, again.

Once the manager came up, and heard the ruckus emanating from our next door neighbors she understood. She explained to us that there was a wedding party there and they were part of the wedding party. They had several rooms in the hotel. The manager assured us that none of the wedding party was on floor 3. They moved us to floor 3.

Sarah and I finally fell into an exhausted sleep at 2 am.

We slept in till almost 11 the next morning. When we woke up, we joked about how our partiers must be feeling this morning. They were probably still in their beds holding their heads in pain!

We opened our window to resume or pool-people watching. Lo and Behold, our drinkers were at the pool! How was that possible? I had not had a drop of alcohol and I felt like I had a hangover from all the middle of the night hiking! And these guys were down at the pool, drinking, laughing, yelling. Wow, they must be professional drinkers!

We stood and stared, and pointed and talked, trying to decide if these really were our midnight partiers, how was it possible? Then, much to our shock, one of them looks right at us and waves! THEY COULD SEE US!!! I was certain the windows were tinted, but apparently the sun was just right to allow them to see us. We waved back and then quickly moved away from the window. Then we fell on the bed and laughed our heads off!



I am happy to report that we did not run into the 20 something partiers again, of course that might be because we did not leave the confines of the hotel room till checkout time the next day. But that was by design, not because we were scared of the crazy drunk people. Really!