Saturday, December 11, 2010

Waiting...and Growing Up

Last night Dave and I and the girls went to a Life Group Christmas party. We are not actually part of a Life Group but we are friends with most of the people in the group so were invited. We had a wonderful time. We ate, we laughed, we talked, we sang, we played games we had a wonderful time.

We are considering joining the group. There are a few things holding me back. One is that despite my best efforts to the contrary, it seems there is something going on every night of the week for at least one member of the family. It’s not like when the kids were little and I was in control of all schedules and I could make sure we were at home more than we were not. Now the kids are bigger, one even an adult, and they make their own schedules. There is the nights Dave has to work late, and my bible study, and the youth group meeting, and the college bible study, and AWANA, and then the social events that are associated with each of those groups. As it stands there is one night a week we are all home. I don’t like that.

And yet, that seems to be the way it is. The kids are older. They are not even going to live here for much longer. It’s hard to imagine. So we improvise, and we make due, and we adjust.

Take Advent for instance. Advent is very important to me. We have always done Advent. Every night for 4 weeks leading up to Christmas we eat a nice dinner together, we light the candles, we read the scripture and we talk. We’ve read the Jotham’s Journey books, we’ve read other devotionals we’ve done Proclamation Ornaments, we’ve done it various ways but the idea is the same. Every night, together, studying God’s word and waiting on Jesus’ birthday.

Last year was a horrid disappointment. I tried to make it mandatory that he kids be home for dinner. It’s only 4 weeks. It didn’t work. I was disappointed and frustrated and the kids were annoyed. It’s not like they are out on the town. They have legitimate, important things to do. They are developing their own lives. I can’t make it like it was. I have to change too.

So this year, we’ve done Advent scripture and candle lighting with whoever is here for dinner. The mandatory event is Sunday lunch. There have been days of Advent this year where we’ve not done it at all in the evenings and instead the girls and I will do it at lunch during our homeschool time. It’s kinda sad, but it’s much less stressful and harmonious to the changing family dynamic. The kids are growing up and changing and I can’t stop it, so I guess I’m going to have to grow and change with them.

(My adorable children, before they went and grew up)

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