Thursday, July 10, 2014

My Thoughts on Modesty May Surprise You

I have been thinking a lot about this and I've been meaning to put all those thoughts into words and then I read this. No need. He said it so well.

It's a TWO SIDDED issue, and as the mother to teen girls I am, frankly, sick and tired of having girls the only ones being addressed on this issue of modesty/lust. I also raised two teen boys and I don't recall them hearing nearly as many talks about keeping their thoughts pure and walking away if necessary. All public talks on modesty it seems, are aimed at the girls.

A person CAN NOT cause someone else to lust. Can they make it difficult for them to stay pure in their thoughts? Sure. But they cannot get inside a mans mind and order his thoughts. A man always has the option to turn and walk away.

But, yall. NOTHING makes my blood boil like hearing from my daughters that they've been told to cover up by a teenage boy (OR GROWN MAN!!) Pretty sure that's sexual harassment, actually.

I am aware of what my daughters wear. They have a dad, a mom, a sister and two older brothers looking out for them. That job's covered. Not to mention, I'm quite happy with the choices my daughters make as far as their dress standard and I also know their hearts. You go ahead and look out for your own thoughts and leave my daughters alone.

Aren't we doing our sons a disservice if we tell them it's okay to go up to a girl and tell her what she's wearing is inappropriate? That they have no recourse in this situation? That their only hope in staying away from impure thoughts is if girls 'dress appropriately'? Because, y'all. That makes them powerless! These church boys are going to grow up and go out into society and work with people who don't 'dress appropriately' and they will have no power to change that, and we will not have given them any tools to deal with it. Will they have to stay away from beaches their whole lives? Because when you're not at the beach with a youth group, there's a whole lot of skin showing.

My point is, God created us to be attracted to each other. We can't 'fix' that. We can only try to handle the attraction in a Godly manner. It's simple really. How about we let basic kindness and consideration rule the day? Girls, can ya not make it so hard on the guys? When you walk around in your itty-bitty string bikini it makes it hard. And also, do you think anyone's listening to your words? your heart? your mind when you wear that? Yeah, no.

And guys? As the article mentioned, man up. A little flesh does not make you into mindless idiots who cannot control the direction of your own thoughts. Take your thoughts captive and if it's too much, walk away.

Huh. Turns out I did have a few more thoughts on the subject.

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