Oh, No, it is that look!

Do you see that look? That is the Mom-you're-such-a-dork look! WHAT!?? She is 8, 8! Way to young for the Mom-you're-such-a-dork look. She is supposed to still think I am the coolest person on the planet, that I hung the moon, that I am Superwoman! How did this happen?

They say the days go by slowly and the years go by quickly. Well, I blinked and some years flew by.

How do I get my baby to stop growing? I need some Miracle Grow for kids, only the kind that works in reverse.

I can see the teen years looming...looming...

Okay, so she's giving me the Mom-you're-such-a-dork look; that aside, isn't she the most beautiful 8 year old?

I Always Knowed I's Smart!

This was kind of fun. It turns I'm a Smart American after all, and we've been on World History for 3 years now.
I am looking forward to American History next year. This quiz proves that I am smart enough to teach it. (Okay, with a little help from Sonlight)

You Are a Smart American

You know a lot about US history, and you're opinions are probably well informed. Congratulations on bucking stereotypes. Now go show some foreigners how smart Americans can be.

Are You a Dumb American?

Just editing to add, I don't really like that "foreigners" statement. It says I'm not a Dumb American, but makes me sound like an egotistical one! :o)

I don't want to alienate all 3 of my readers who aren't from 'round here. :o)

4 TO 6 WEEKS!

I shipped off one of my best friends yesterday.



My cordless phone started acting strangely yesterday. It would not hang up. I would hit the off button and put down the handset thinking all was well, only to find out when I went to make a call later, the phone had been off the hook the entire time. The only way I could disconnect the call was to go unplug the base from the wall. This was rather inconvenient being that usually I was not anywhere near the base while making a call. This is the beauty of the cordless phone after-all. Not only was in inconvenient to go all the way to the base, but the base was plugged into the wall behind my dresser; moving this dresser was very inconvenient.

I went to the VTech website to try to find some magic solution to this mystery. I went through their 50 step troubleshooting plan…nothing.

So, I call the company. They said my phone should not be doing this, especially since it is only 6 weeks old. (No, really?) They said I must send it back; they will fix it or send me a new one. It will take 4 to 6 weeks. 4 TO 6 WEEKS, PEOPLE!!!

I packed up my beloved phone and sent it off this morning with my dh. Now I have ONE phone. It is attached to the wall, with a CORD!! It does not tell me who is calling before I answer the phone. I must answer the phone blind. BLIND, PEOPLE! What if it is someone I don’t want to talk to? What if it is the election people, again? What if it is the Association for the Betterment of Battered Mice wanting a donation? I WON’T KNOW UNTILL I ANSWER!

It gets worse; I now have no answering machine either. Not only won’t I know who called by looking on my magic phone handset, but no one can leave me a message. People will call over the next 4 TO 6 WEEKS! and I will not know about it AT ALL!

I vaguely remember the days before caller ID, cordless phones and answering machines. I remember having to run to the phone on the wall and try to answer it before they hung up. I remember the acute disappointment when it was not my husband or my best friend. It was the guy from the local paper wanting to sell me a subscription.

I am not sure I can hang on for 4 TO 6 WEEKS! How did we ever survive without cordless phones, caller ID, and answering machines?

Ask me in 4 TO 6 WEEKS!

Why Women Take So Long in the Public Bathroom

This very funny story was sent to me by one of my lovely Bible Study ladies. I just thought it was too funny not to share...enjoy!

When I was a little girl, my mother would take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a public toilet seat. Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of balancing over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. By this time, I'd have wet down my leg and we'd have to go home to change my clothes.

That was a long time ago. Even now, in my more "mature years, "The Stance"
is excruciatingly difficult to maintain, especially when one's bladder is full.

When you have to "go" in a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women that
makes you think there's a half-price sale on Nelly's underwear in there. So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies,who are also crossing their legs and smiling politely. You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors. Every one is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat covers"(invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook if there was one - but there isn't - so you carefully but quickly hang it around your neck (mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and ssume "The Stance."

Ahhhh, relief. More relief.

But then your thighs begin to shake. You'd love to sit down but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance" as
your thighs experience a quake that would register an eight on the Richter scale. To
take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be
the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice
saying, "Honey, if you would have tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN
there was no toilet paper!"


Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on
yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.

Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet.

"Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding down, directly onto the insidious toilet
seat. You bolt up quickly, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom
has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had
taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she
knew, because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat
because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get."

By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it
flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a fountain that suddenly sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for
fear of being dragged off to China.

At that point, you give up. You're soaked by the splashing water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket, then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks.

You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at this point, no longer able to smile politely.

One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as long asthe Mississippi River! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??)

You yank the paper fromyour shoe, plunk it the woman's hand and tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."

As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered, used and exited the men's
restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while waiting for you. Annoyed, he asks,
"What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?"

This is dedicated to women everywhere who have ever had to deal with a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what
really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked question
about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other woman can hold the
door and hand you Kleenex under the door.

7 Random Things Meme

*****UPDATE AT THE BOTTOM OF POST*****

I have been tagged by Halfmoon Happenings. I have to say that I am totally relieved to be tagged Tokay. I seem to have hit a blogging wall. I was blogging about milk cap rings the other day, for goodness sake!
So here goes…seven totally random things.

1. I bite my nails. I know, what a horrible habit. I have bitten my nails all my life. I can remember biting them so much as a child they would bleed and sting, and throb. Nuts Huh? I don’t bite them like that anymore, but If I don’t have my fake nails on, my nails split and I bite them. So I usually have pretty, purchased nails.

2. I don’t like water. I love coffee, coke and tea. In order to be friendly to my kidneys I only drink 2 cups of coffee, and one Coke Zero (love that stuff) a day. The rest of the day I drink tea. It is not too sweet, and I make it with decaf tea bags so my Dr. said it counts as water, whew!

3. I have Fibromyalgia. I hate Fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed a little over a year ago. I have had strange undiagnosed pain in my hips since I was 20. I have been tested for just about everything under the sun over the last decade or so and stumped all the doctors. A little over a year ago the pain suddenly went everywhere and they tested me for Fibromyalgia. Bingo.

4. I have 4 kids. I always wanted at least 6. After baby #4 and no $. DH said no more. I was very sad and mourned no more babies. Now that I look back I can see God’s hand in it. I can’t imagine having a baby or toddler with Fibromyalgia. I do still miss babies, but I am really enjoying my older kids and I wonder if I would be able to enjoy where they are in life right now If I had a baby in tow. Not to mention on the days where I’m In a lot of pain, they would have to help, a lot.

5. I hate spiders. I mean really hate. Like as in certifiable paranoia. Once I screamed and flailed and almost brought down the shower curtain because a spider was on me in the shower. DH walked in and calmly asked, “Spider?” Seriously, if we had a camera on me when I thought there was a spider on me we could win great gobs of $!

6. I met my dh when I was in 6th grade! We did not start dating for a few years but I knew him. He was an older brother of a guy in my youth group. I thought he was hot! (BTW, I was right)

7. I read, A LOT. I love to read. I love, love, love, books. I twirl my hair, just like my grandma when I read. I keep a book list and I run somewhere between 75 and 100 books a year. DH asks me to please read a few less books and do a few more loads of laundry. :o)
I will think on who I am going to tag. Later today I’ll add my tagees.

Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!.

*****UPDATE*****
Because I am having decision issues today, I have decided to take the easy way out. I really want to hear 7 random things about all of you!
So if you're reading this consider yourself tagged! You're IT!
Now, leave me a comment telling me you're playing and I'll come read 7 Random things about you.

The Invisibility Phenomenon and the Tooth Fairy.

I want to talk about those little plastic milk rings. You know the ones; those obnoxious things that insure that the lid of the milk jug will not suddenly pop off in transit and spill that precious white liquid out before it can reach the store.

I am convinced within myself that these little nuisances are invisible to the eye of anyone under 15. I don’t really know when they become visible to the eye. It is sometime between 15 and adulthood. When It happens I’ll let you know. It is as if, once removed from the milk jug, they disappear into thin air. Poof! Just like that.



Only that is not what really happens. If you are an adult you know what happens…it ends up on the floor. I think there is a progression. It comes off the jug, and the children think it goes poof, but really it falls to the counter. Sometime in the next few minutes it falls to the floor. Then it gets kicked around for a while until someone over 15 walks into the room and picks it up and throws it away.



This is the strangest phenomenon. When asked, all children in the room will deny any knowledge of said plastic ring.

I have seen this same phenomenon in play with all kinds of trash. I have conducted an experiment. I saw a piece of wadded up paper on the floor in the hallway. I did not pick it up. I did not yell at anyone else to pick it up. I did not interrogate the entire family to find out who put it there. I noted the date, and waited…and waited…and waited. 3 weeks I waited, until I could wait no more. You see, that hallway had been vacuumed 6 times during those 3 weeks. By 3 different children. And still the piece of paper remained. When questioned, not one of those 3 children remembered seeing the piece of wadded up paper. I have surmised that it is trash in general that is invisible to the eye of anyone under 15.

To further complicate my experiment, I have noticed this invisibility phenomenon also seems to relate to some non-trash items like pencils. We have homeschooled in some form or another for 10 years and I have seen this problem skyrocket. No matter how many pencil holding devices I buy or systems I put it place, pencils continue to pop up in odd places, like the floor…in the bathroom. Why? I don’t think I want to know.



I thought I had the invisibility phenomenon beat this year, at least the pencil aspect of it. I bought each child their own color pencil. Just FYI, finding 4 different color pencils was quite a trick. But I did it. And it worked…for a while.

When ever I saw a pencil on the floor I could know immediately whose it was. What a wonderful solution, until…one child ran out of his color pencil. I scoured the stores for purple pencils, they were everywhere in September, but could not be found now. So I had to add another color into the mix. Then as the year wore on, they would get other pencils, cute ones with cars or Barbie on it. But once it hit the floor, suddenly it belonged to no one; it could no longer be seen by anyone under 15.

I think the root of this problem is the Tooth Fairy…now hear me out. We teach our littlest, most impressionable of children that when they put a piece of trash (an old tooth) under a pillow, a fairy comes and takes it away for them, and even leaves them money!



I think this begins a deep seeded belief in fairies, I think…the root of this whole invisibility problem, is that my kids believe in the Trash Fairy.

Ladies and gentleman, I’m here to tell you, I did not like being the Tooth Fairy and I definitely don’t like being the Trash Fairy.

I am in search of an antidote to this Invisibility/Fairy Phenomenon. If I find it, I’ll pass it on for the good on mankind.

If you have one, please oh please tell me what it is!

R.I.P

No, not THAT kind of R.I.P.
Reading. In. Public.
Do you do it? Why or why not?

I have nothing fun or inspiring to say today. We had open house at our homeschool Co op last night, after a day of teaching at the co op. So I am TIRED. After full days
like that I tend to be a bit on the achy side. Thank you ever-so-much, Fibromyalgia.

So instead of my usual oh-so-inspiring comments, I bring you this Meme. I love books so this seemed like a good one. If you would like to participate go to Booking Through Thursdays. Yes I know today is Friday, but I was busy yesterday, and better late than never, right?

So here goes, YES! I absolutely Read in Public! I read in line at Wal-Mart. I read at co op between classes, I read in line at the bank; in fact I read in any line. I have even been known to read at a long red light! I try not to read at family gatherings because, well that would be rude. I try to be sensitive and not read when I should be paying attention to someone or something. I know it would be rude to read, no matter how good the book, at my Mother In Law’s birthday party, or during church, even if the guest preacher is a bit boring. Sometimes I am tempted to read when I should not. I try to be good. I just love books so very much!

Think about it, what other thing can take you, in your mind, to another reality, time or place? Or let you meet people who never existed or who are long dead? If you do those things without the benefit of a book, I think they call it a mental illness!

I think I got started having a book with me at all times when my kids were babies. I often put them down for naps at others’ houses and would sit in the room with them till they went to sleep. Sometimes I’d look up from a particularly good book and realize that my baby or toddler was fast asleep, and probably had been for some time.

Books even go before fashion for me. One of the main things I look for in a good purse is, is it big enough for my book? I will never buy a purse that a book won’t fit into. I am doomed to a life with a huge purse, but that is okay, because I love books so much, I’m willing to make the sacrifice.

Where in the world are the responsible adults?

Would you like to see yet another reason why I homeschool?

Last year we heard that one of the Algebra teachers at our local high school (the one my son would have had were he in public school) was arrested for being a notorious seriel rapist in a neighboring city.

Now this. This is my school. This is where I went to school. This is where my kids would go to school. This is not local news, no this is national. This is what my little town gets on the map for.

After you watch an 11 second creepy ad for a new television show, you can see an ever more disturbing school fight. If you can get through the first few seconds, you'll hear an interview of a "responsible adult" not taking responsibility.

But let me tell you…the fight goes on and on and on. That is one of the reason it hit national news. Where in the world were the teachers to break up such actions.

Okay, so we have some bad days around this homeschool once in awhile. But now I am feeling pretty good about my choice to continue homeschooling my highschooler.

UGH, and again, where are the parents? Where are the teachers? Is anyone responsible for our youth anymore?

The things you learn from teens.

I have a funny story to tell you. This happened a few years ago, but something reminded me of it yesterday, and like the good blogger that I am, I thought, I must blog that!

So here’s the story. A friend of mine walked into a bar…sorry, wrong story. A friend of mine went in to a Christian book store looking for a CD for her husband. Now for you to really get the humor, you must let me describe my friend. She’s a little thing from Mississippi; accent and all. She’s cute as a bugs ear, as they say in the south.

She goes to the lady behind the counter, an older lady who owns this establishment, (it is a mom and pop shop, not one of those chains) and the lady asks my friend if she can help her find anything.

My friend replies, “yes, I’m looking for a CD for my husband, something like Devil Chasers, or Demon Catchers, Satan Searchers…something like that.” (All said in her cute lil Ol’ Miss’ippi accent)

The little old lady’s eyes bug out of her head and she replies, “Honey, this is a Christian book store, we don’t carry anything like that.” I’m certain at this point she and her little ol’ husband, who’d come on the scene, were thinking of throwing her down on the ground and saying “Devil, come OUT!” or throwing Holy Water on her or something.

But before this embarrassing event could transpire, a teen walked up (presumably the summer help) and said, “Oh, you mean Demon Hunter, it’s right over here, let me show you.”

Now, I can only presume that the cute little Ol’ couple went straight back there after my friend left, and took every one of those devil CD’s off their shelf!

Personally, I would never have found myself in this situation because I have teens. My friend’s child was only 4, she is still listening to Barney in the car. Not me, no I know all about Demon Hunter. And there are others, groups like Piller, Skillet, Kids in the Way, Roper, Switchfoot, Kutless & Hawk Nelson can often be found blaring through my car.

I made the mistake of downloading the entire Windows Media Player onto my MP3 player when I first got it. I did not realize that the boys had their music on it too. And since I’ve never taken the time to take off all my teens’ crazy music off my MP3 player I have had the opportunity to listen to some of the stuff. I must say here that some of it is downright scary (I know I really sound like the MOM) but you can’t understand what they are saying, how do I know it is Christian music? You can’t understand the words!

But… and I’ll never admit this to my kids…some of it is pretty good. Like this one, and this, and this. Try it out. Your kids will be totally impressed that you know their music.

And if you end up liking Demon Hunter, don’t go to a store to get it. Just buy it online, it’s better for everyone.

Life with 12 & 15 year old boys.

They look so respectful and well behaved in that photo don't they? Hummm.

I told my boys that we are going to start writing out the Shorter Catechism for copy work this summer. So they don’t forger their cursive.

My 12yods replied, “What is the Shorter Catechism?” (I must insert here that we have talked about this before, he is a very forgetful boy. I am a good teacher and mom, I am, I am!)

I replied, “What is the Chief End of Man?” to remind him.
He said, “I don’t know, the bottom?”

My 15yods pipes up and replies “No, that is the business end”.

At that point they fell on the floor with laughter, and I left the room, hanging my head in shame.

Oh the irreverence of Teen boys!