Wednesday, September 5, 2007

That's So Punny!

Today was my day to drive downtown to take the kids to Scottish Rite. We leave the house at 11:10 and I don’t get home till 2:30ish. That tends to break into our school day quite a bit. This week’s been kind of a wash as far as school, what with being tortured yesterday and then driving downtown today. And tomorrow is co op day.

We did do our Bible reading, journal, math, Wordly Wise and reading. Not much; no science or history, although the kids did look at snake books while we were at SR, and we played the Noggin history game again, so I guess we did some science and history. Oh well, this is why I homeschool. The world is our classroom. I just wish we were in our classroom less!

My Mother in Law sent me some puns. I have some kind of warped sense of humor because puns make me crack up. I was laughing so hard at the linoleum one I could hardly read it to the kids.

So here are a few for you. They are dumb, clean and really, really funny! (at least my warped brain thinks so)

Have a great Wednesday!

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A - flat miner.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done

1 comment:

Halfmoon Girl said...

those were very cute- i like the one about those who are too big for their britches!