I’m just like an Ornithologist except without all those years of education.

My aunt and uncle have a little bird oasis there on their ranch. They go through more bird seed than I would have thought possible.

All of their various bird feeders are right outside the large living room windows. In South Texas this is a boon, as no one in their right mind would sit outside to watch the birds.

We watched all the normal characters play across the stage; cardinals, lots of hummingbirds, red–winged blackbirds, cowbirds, blue jays, orioles, woodpeckers, and white winged doves.

It was all very exciting.

Eve is also a bird enthusiast. She loves to watch them and learn about them. On one of the many stops, Angela and I made, I found this little gem. It is a bird book that has great color pictures of birds, but that is not all, it also has a little button you can push to hear the sound the bird makes. How cool is that! It is not a cheap book and I am a cheap person, so I had a dilemma. Do I buy it? It is a $25 book. Can I bring myself to buy a $25 book when chances are good I could get on Amazon cheaper? Turns out, yes I can spend $25 on a book.

As we sat and watched the birds flit buy the windows, we listened to the bird sounds while sitting in air conditioned comfort. It was Glorious.

At one point I was sitting on the chair nearest the window doing nothing. Absolutely nothing, and no one was asking me any questions using the words ‘Mom, can I…’ or ‘Mom, can you…’. I might have mentioned this already, but it was glorious.

So there I am sitting and having complete thoughts, when a very colorful flash landed on the patio. I walked closer to the window to inspect. It was the most beautiful bird I think I have ever seen. It was almost tropical, something you’d expect to see in the Caribbean, not dry South Texas.

Because I am a calm and controlled person, I squealed for Angela and our Aunt to “COME SEE THE BIRD WITH ALL THE PRETTY COLORES!” Of course, because the glass is not quadruple paned, the squealing scared away the pretty bird before Aunt and Angela could get there.

Once I described the bird, my aunt started to squeal. A PAINTED BUNTING! YOU SAW A PAINTED BUNTING! THOSE ARE SO RARE, YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE SEEN A PAINTED BUNTING!

It seems all the squealing runs in the family.

Later that day my sister said, ‘Hay, that bird looks like a blue jay only green’. (She did not inherit the squealing gene it seems).

My aunt replied, A GREEN JAY! YOU SAW A GREEN JAY! THOSE ARE SO RARE, YOU ARE SO LUCKY TO HAVE SEEN A GREEN JAY!

Apparently Angela and I are like the cat nip of the bird world.

The Painted bunting did come back the next day, but did not cooperator very well for our little photo op. Here is the photo my sister took.

Here is a better photo.

Here is a photo of a Green Jay, the Green Jay never got close enough for us to snap a photo. Perhaps it was all the squealing.

Do They Sell Hula Girls in Vegas?

My sister and I went on a little road trip over the weekend. We have not gone on a road trip since…well I can’t remember.

We were both a little overly excited to run away from our responsibilities visit our aunt and uncle. Our uncle heard we were coming and fled the country was very sad he could not be there as he had to teach an anti-terrorism school in Mexico.

We drove my sister’s very large, black, new SUV. (This is Texas, every family is required to have at least one large SUV.)

She pulled up into my driveway on Friday morning and put a lay around my neck and said “welcome to your vacation.”

We were off.

We stopped at this little gift shop somewhere along our trip. My sister found a stick-on dancing hula girl. We had to have her.

I found some fake mustaches that I remember my husband said he wanted. I asked him where on earth he thought I was going to find fake mustaches for him. The Lord provided.

I called him at work to make sure he still needed them.

“Hello, this is Sir D” (he didn’t really say Sir D, he said his real name, but you all are smart enough to figure that out, right?)

“Hi honey, guess what!” I squeal.

“I’m going to have to call you back.” He says is his work voice that tells me he has someone in his office.

“Okay but real quick, do you still need those fake mustaches?”

A pause.

“Um, yes. If you could please take care of the procurement of the supplies that would be excellent.” Sir D said in his work voice.

My sister and I laughed about that all weekend!

We buy our dancing hula girl and fake mustaches and hop back in the new, shiny, black SUV and Angela sticks the Hula girl on the dash, right in the middle. As we pull back out onto the highway she begins to shake her unlikely shaped body back and forth. She is our mascot. She will hula us all the way to the ranch.

We watched her in silence for a while.



Then Angela said, “Crap. I just stuck a tacky hula girl to (insert her husband’s name here) new car.

“(insert her husband’s name here) is not going to think that is funny.”

"Surely Uncle has some go-be-gone or something that will get her off." I suggest.

We get to the ranch, with hula girl mocking us, swaying back and forth all the way, but never coming loose.

Well, Hula girl did eventually come off. She did not leave any residue on the shiny new car’s dash. We did not have to confess to (insert her husband’s name here) that we stuck a tacky hula girl on the dash of his new car.

Some people go on vacation, loose their minds and become overly spontaneous and gamble away their life savings. Angela and I just stick tacky things to a new car’s dash.

What happens on vacation only stays on vacation if you don’t stick it on your dash.

Words of wisdom my friends.

Scorpions and a Stuck Hula Girl

I'm back from Rancho Alacron.

We had a blast. We stayed up too late, we ate too much, and we saw scorpions. 2 scorpions.



I have many stories to tell. Tales of a stuck hula girl, fake mustaches, and sour-crout kolatchies.

Oh, and a painted bunting. I can't forget to tell you of the appearance of the very rare and beautiful painted bunting.



But first I must sleep...for many, many hours.

Two things.

1. Will and Bob did their many lawns today and all is well. All limbs and appendages are present and accounted for.

2. I am leaving for the Texas Hill Country Friday morning with my sister and NO ONE ELSE. We are going to visit my aunt and uncle on their ranch. Rancho Alacran. For those of you not familiar with the Spanish language, that is Scorpion Ranch. Because there are scorpions there.

But you know what isn’t there? Responsibility. Oh happy day!

I am not feeling completely well, thank you for asking Jane. But I’m leaving town anyway. Because I like to spread the germs far and wide I’m sure I’m not contagious anymore.

Oh, and one more thing. (That makes three, whoops.) Tonya, I would love for my boys to work for you. They are quite good at their jobs. They are also quite reasonably priced. However, I think the travel expenses might make it cost prohibitive.

Eat your veggies! (If you can afford it.)

I just paid 11.56 for asparagus. Just enough asparagus to feed my family of 6 as a side dish. eleven dollars and fifty six cents.

HOLY COW!

My husband got a bit of a raise with this new job, also we have paid off our debt.

I CAN'T TELL. ALL extra $ is getting eaten up, literally.

I can't imagine what we would be doing if we still had debt and Sir D was making less.

Yikes! 11:56! For Asparagus.

I'm not so good with the new technology...

I'm just so stinkin' excited! I figured out how to make a slide show! Brilliant!

These are some of my favorite photos of the kids and a few cousins.

Enjoy! (really, they're some of the most adorable kids ever)

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Safety Features.

The boys and Sir D have been working on our mower for a few evenings now. It is not working. Know what is working? Our grass's ability to grow very FAST.

With grass inching up ever so quickly and a non working mower, there was a since of urgency in getting it fixed.

At one point Sir D was just about to go buy a new one, but he had one more thing he wanted to try with the boys.

See the thing is, the boys have a mowing business and they need a working mower, so Sir D was working with them to fix it, or they were going to have to pitch in for a new one.

Last night at around 8:30 pm I heard a most joyous sound. The lawnmower running! Yippee!

When the boys came in the house with Sir D behind them, I told them I was really proud of them for sticking with it and fixing it! Then I asked how they did it.

Bob said, “We just had to disable most of the safety features and then we…” I stopped listening after the ‘disable safety features’ part. I looked at Sir D who smiled sheepishly.

I gave him the look.

He said “they’ll be fine.”

Just another typical day on the Hilltop.

I Might Run Mad!

Today here on the Hilltop we’re going to be talking about coughing; coughing, coughing and more coughing. Why? Because that is all I can hear or do and it is wreaking havoc on my creative abilities.

I have been trying to go on and live my bloggy life and not post every other day about the coughing. But the coughing, it is distracting!

Ann has been coughing since the first of April. That is over a month folks. They don’t call this the 100 days cough for nothing. Only 60 more to go. And I feel that I should point out her that this is not regular coughing. This is a hacking like no other.

Sir D has been coughing too. LOTS. He finally got on antibiotics and they are helping a bit. Eve and Bob are also coughing, but Eve has been on the antibiotics and she only has a small annoying cough. Bob also has the small annoying cough. Will has no cough. How has Will avoided this cough? I have no idea.

Guess whose turn it is now? Yep, it’s mine.

It started on Saturday.

I have an appointment today at 3 for my round of antibiotics. Oh, joy. My body so loves the antibiotics.

And might I add that typhoid Mary Ann is still coughing terribly. She missed 3 days of school last week, and I am not sure how much she’ll be attending this week. I am going to take her today, and we’ll see how she does.

The most frustrating thing in all of this is that even though we all KNOW it is Whooping Cough, it has not been officially diagnosed because apparently Whopping Cough is difficult to diagnosis, and impossible to after the patient has been on antibiotics.

Anyway, whine, whine, whine.

I am supposed to go visit my aunt and uncle with my sister this weekend. I hope I am well enough to do it (it is a 5 hour drive) and I hope the kids are well enough to be left home with Sir D.

Because people, I must get away from the coughing or I shall run mad!

The Stuff of Legends

*****If you have not seen this movie and want to be surprised, click away now. I will spoil it for you and I don't want to do that. Really I don't. So go on, go away until you have seen it, then come back here and read this. Or you can go ahead and read it and be upset, but don't say I didn't warn ya!*****

A month or so ago my teenage sons started nagging me about watching some ‘Legend’ movie. They had heard good things…it’s only pg-13…can we? Please Mom? Can we? Can we? Can we?

So I got on Netflix and requested it for Sir D and I to preview. I’m sorry but most Pg-13 movies are not appropriate for my 13 year old or his 16 year old brother. Heck, they’re not usually appropriate for me.

Once it got here, I read the case. Oh, boy. Zombies. I HATE zombies, or really, any kind supernatural in nature kind of thriller. Now give me a good spy flick and I’m happy. Jason Bourne? Jack Ryan? Love it! The Undead? Notsomuch.

So last night Sir D and I got comfy on the couch and turned on the creepy movie. (The sacrifices I make for my kids!)

I must say…I was shocked. I think Will Smith said damn a few times when he was about to be devoured by some icky undead things (can ya blame him?), but other than that, NO BAD LAUGUAGE. Also, NO nudity. None. The camera did not even quickly pan over someone’s cleavage or some scantily clad girl on a billboard. NOT ONE THING.

Then- and this was the most shocking thing in all the movie, it was even more shocking than the Leader of the Undead jumping out from the dank corner to attack Will Smith in a dark warehouse- they prayed in the movie. Not like a ‘dear higher power who may or may not exist’ or a pious ‘Oh Holy Father in heaven who is to great for us mortals’ but a real prayer. Almost like the kind of prayer I would pray; a prayer of safety for a husband who was going to be left behind to save the world. (Sir D does a lot of world-saving, just so ya know.)

Then at the end ***Spoiler coming*** Will Smiths character gives his life to save human kind. Just like that. He saw only one way to save all of mankind and it required him to sacrifice his life to save others.

It was almost like a hero tale from ye olden days.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It was an icky, creepy, scary, yucky, zombie movie. But it was a CLEAN icky, creepy, scary, yucky, zombie movie with a great message.

Who woulda thunk it?

And just as a side note…I had zombie nightmares last night, but I did not go climb in bed with my parents because, well, I am the parent.

Stand Up Straight!

The expense joys of parenthood.

Eve had a capped baby-tooth molar that was loose back in Oct/Nov. When I took her into the dentist for a checkup, he noticed it and told her to work on getting it out.

Well, you know, the holidays, life got busy, excuse, excuse…

She commented on it still not being out at the beginning of April. I had totally forgotten. The tooth underneath was trying to come up (you could see it off to one side) and the tooth still was not out!

So I bribed her and told her I’d give her $10 if she could get it out by the end of April. I figured it would be cheaper than going to the dentist and having it pulled.

Well, she got it out the night of April 30th. (Nothing like taking it down to the wire!).

When I looked in her mouth I realized that the molar coming in is completely sideways! The part I can see poking through the gum on the top is the side of her tooth! It is actually aimed into her mouth, making a protrusion in the inner jaw! UGH!!!

I’ve got an appointment with our orthodontist (that we just paid off for Will’s braced 3 months ago) on Wednesday.

So here’s the question. What is the ortho going to do? Any clues? Please tell me he's just going to speak sternly to the tooth and it'll stand up straight.

I want to prepare her if I can. UGH! If it’s not one expense thing it’s another expense.