Hagatha Goes Shopping

Walmart alone is enough blog fodder to keep this blog running for a good long time, though you may get tired of hearing about my Walmart-ian escapades.

Today my trip to Wally World was no exception. First I stop at the little gas station attached to Walmart. And I have to stop and say here that while gas is expensive, I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I paid almost 5 cents a gallon less than a few weeks ago and there was plenty to be had and no line to wait in.

It does, however, takes two transactions to fill up The Tank. It’s big in the way that the Woolly Mammoth is big. Big isin’t really a big enough word to describe The Tank and it’s drinking habit.The pump shuts off at $100. It takes more than $100 to feed her. So I ran it twice. I wanted her tummy to be full.

Then I went into hell Walmart to shop. First I must say that the guy in the slightly bloodied lab coatish thing, who works back in the meat department was creepy. I’m telling you he was checking me out. Not in a good way. I know this because I looked like Hagatha. It was 10 am and I was grocery shopping in hell Walmart, so you can imagine. So I know he wasn’t following me around because I looked good. I still don’t know he was following me around but he finally stopped when I left the food department and went toward the ladies underwear. I guess even creepy meat department guy has his limits.

Finally me and my overflowing cart made its way to the front. I am not exaggerating about the overflowing part. I had to stop and pick up that bag of chips so many times it’s probably chip dust by now.

I got up to the register and everyone from the check out lady to all the other customers who had to go behind me were horrified by the size of my cart. I was too, but what can I say? I’m feeding a pack of wolves.

Finally they got it all scanned, bagged and back in my carts (yes that is carts, plural. There should be a law of physics explaining why everything that fit in one cart, once bagged, suddenly expands and will no longer fit in the same cart).

I am merciful to the ladies with the screaming babies and wiggly toddlers behind me and I have no coupons to offer. I simply plan on paying the gargantuan sum and leaving, with the help of the gentleman who was forced to so kindly offered to help me to my car with my two carts full of food.

And here is where we hit our glitch.

My card is declined.

It was a beautiful moment. Here I am, standing with enough food to feed a small third world country, every cranky kid in the store and his even crankier mother in line behind me, and the card won’t work.

Like I didn’t stand out enough.

I told her to try again because I am a glutton for punishment. But I KNEW there was money in there. One does not go to Walmart to spend the equivalent of the bail out (remember when we used to say the National Debt, Ha!) without checking that the money is actually in the account.

After we tried a third time, (see, glutton!) I gave up and put in on my credit card.

Once I got home and spent hours toting in food and putting it away, I sat down with my computer to check out my banking account.

I noticed an email saying there was unusual activity on my account, so they turned it off. Know what that unusual activity was? Two transactions equaling a total of $175 at the Walmart gas station.

Have these people been watching the news? Don’t they know that it takes $175 to fill up just about anything but a Prius?

UGH!