Of Health and Guns

I thought you all might be wondering if I died of deprivation being as the blog has been quiet for a few days. The answer is no, I have not died of deprivation, though it was touch and go for a while there.

Honestly, I feel good and that makes me kinda mad. I'm crazy that way. I made it through the first 10 days and I feel like I did well. A little cookie and one piece of chocolate, plus continuing my one cup of coffee a day. Not bad.

I'm on the second phase of the nutritional cleanse where I'm allowed a little lean meat, so that's nice. I have had some fish and some lean chicken. I forgot how much I LOVED meat. I can't have red meat yet though, but when I can I'm having a big ol' juicy steak!

Also, I lost 7.6lbs in 10 days. Not bad. I told my nutritionist that while I'm happy with the almost 8lb weight loss, I feel that with that level of deprivation I should have lost 50lbs. She said perhaps my expectations were unrealistic. Whatever.

I must say I'm torn here. I feel better. That stinks. When I eat good for me foods I feel better. When I eat bad for me foods I feel bad. The thing is. I really, really like the bad for me foods! So it's a dilemma. It's kinda like having to choose which one of your children is your favorite. It's an unanswerable question! Do I want to feel good or eat the foods I love? Sigh. I know, I'm being a drama queen. I know I'll not have to give up everything I love, I just need to be smarter about what I eat when and in what quantities. Getting old sucks.

On a completely different note, Sir D and I went shooting last night. I am really enjoying this new little hobby. It is a lot of fun and something Sir D and I can do together. I'm not taking up motocross and I don't see Sir D taking up crocheting, so shooting seemed like a good alternative. I love seeing the type of people who come to the shooting range. You'd expect a bunch of good ol' Texas boys and there are some of those, but last night there was a husband and wife with their teenage son and two ladies in their 60's. Those older ladies were shooting a giant cannon of a gun and were darn good shots!

I'm telling you, I think half the members of the AARP down here in TX are armed!

I told Sir D that for my birthday I either want an IPhone or a pink glock or both.

Happy Saturday!





*I feel I need to mention that I really do like my nutritionist, she is a very sweet lady who knows her stuff. I just don't like what she is telling me! The truth hurts!*

I'm a big fat cheater.

It is day 9 and last night I cheated. I ate a cookie last night. Never have I felt so guilty for eating a cookie. Sir D the Saboteur gave it to me. He felt guilty. He said he didn’t know what to do. He stopped for dinner on the way home and he wanted a cookie but he didn’t know if he should get me one or eat one in front of me. He didn’t know which choice would be right.

I asked him if he ever considered eating the cookie on his way home or not at all? He said no. That had not occurred to him.

So I cheated.

I only have one more day to go. The thing is, the diet is not actually finished on Thursday. I just get to add in a few more things like lean meats. Oh happy day. I never thought I’d be so happy to eat meat. I have tilapia fillet’s waiting patiently for me in the freezer. I know exactly what I am going to have for dinner on Friday night. I can’t wait.

After 21 days total (that would be Monday March 9th for those keeping score) I will be eating chocolate for dinner.

Okay, I jest; as much as I hate to admit it, the nutritionist is right. I do feel better and have more energy. I know my body is happier with me for not filling it with garbage in the form of refined sugar and copious amounts of caffeine. I will not slide completely back into my old ways, but I am totally eating chocolate and coffee again, just in smaller quantities. Really.

Who's that girl?

Someone sent this to me on Facebook. This was taken back when I was 14 and in Mexico with my church youth group on a missions trip.

I think we should totally bring back the side pony tail, don't you? Especially if it is held in place by a large bow.

Are you with me?

Day 7 and Notes

Today is Day 7 of the Nutritionist’s torture diet. And I must say it’s getting easier. I am still drinking my one cup of coffee a day because I’m in rebellion and I like my coffee. I am easily getting my shakes down and I think I have more energy. I say ‘I think’ because I had one really good day, then I got some sort of stomach bug. I know it was not the diet, because Sir D got it too and he is most definitely NOT on the diet as evidenced by the chocolate he keeps eating in front of me.

Today I seem to be without the rock in my stomach so perhaps I’m over the stomach bug, and will be back to the more energetic me I saw for one precious day.

On another note, we went to the RV show again this Saturday. We are so very close to purchasing our RV. It is sitting in Houston waiting for us. It is lonely. We need to go pick it up. Sadly, I think it will be at least 2 more weeks before we can go get her. I can’t wait. I am so ready to go camping!

On yet another note, my sons have been going to the Fireman’s Explorer program. This is basically training to become a fireman/EMT for kids ranging in age from 14-21. My Bob is the youngest there and yet one of the biggest kids. I’m telling you that kid is like the Jolly Green Giant. They seem to be enjoying it. Will, who is almost 18, is thinking about becoming a Paramedic or Fireman after he has the requisite number of college hours, to help him pay his way through the rest of his college. We’ll see how that works out but for now at least it’s a plan.

Happy Monday!

Voices

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30:21

This is one of my favorite verses. I noticed it on my sidebar today. It was spoken, to 'the people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem' but I think it is applicable to me as well.

I like the idea that if I listen, I will hear a voice telling me which way to go. The problem is, there are so very many voices telling us which way to go, all vying to be heard. The trick, I think, is distinguishing His voice from the others.

Day 3, and other stuff

So I made it through day 3. I have survived. I have not ben able to get off coffee yet. Still at one cup in the morning. Shut up! I’m taking baby steps. Oh, sorry, not you. I was talking to my conscious.

I went out to breakfast with a friend and I ate fruit. I was drooling over her oatmeal. Oatmeal. I hate oatmeal but her oatmeal had cream and brown sugar on it. I really was just drooling over the brown sugar. I wanted to lick it off the top of the oatmeal. I need help.

In other news, because apparently the world still spins even when I’m not allowed sugar, Sir D and Bob are sick. They have the cold-from-the-dark-side that I had last week. We are a giving family.

Also, Ann has exactly 11 more weeks at Scottish Rite. 11 more times I have to drive downtown. I can’t wait till it’s over. I think I may be more excited than she is.

One other thing. I am in need of a good book. I have hit a reading slump lately. I love adventure/suspense/romance type books. It does not have to be Christian per say, but I don’t like smut. Any suggestions? Come on. Give me something. I have to keep my mind busy or I’ll start licking other people’s breakfast cereals.

Day 2

Hello my name is Tricia and I have a problem…

I am addicted to coffee. I oh so arrogantly thought yesterday that I was above withdrawals. That even though I have had no less than three cups of coffee every day for the last 10 years I would be able to quit cold turkey.

The cold turkey? He is not for me.

Around 3 yesterday afternoon, the headache began. It escalated to a crescendo that had me running for the medicine cabinet for Tylenol. As I lay in bed last night wondering why I was punishing myself and how I was going to deal with this today, I made a decision. Deprivation in increments. Today, one cup of coffee with a little milk, no sugar. Tomorrow, half a cup and so on until my brain is not pounding inside my skull due to the lack of caffeine.

I think it’s a good plan. I am sipping the sweet nectar of the coffee bean as I type, waiting not so patiently, for the headache to dissipate.

Hello my name is Tricia and I have a problem…

Day 1

I am not drinking coffee. Instead I am drinking this.



I just finished it. It was not coffee. It did not taste like coffee. It did not smell like coffee. It was not coffee.

I did put it in this cup because it made me feel better.



This is going to be hard but I am going to do it. Nothing but my vitamin shakes, fruit, veggies and nuts. For 10 days. Then after 10 days, I get some lean meats. 21 days total of a nutritional cleanse.

I am going to do this. I am going to feel better. And sadly for you, I'm probably going to complain about it every step of the way.

Did I mention Sir D and Will are drinking coffee. I can smell it.

Have Mercy!

On my sister’s advice (and her dime, thank you for the gift Angela!) I went to see the nutritionist today. My sister told me that she is magic and I’ll feel eversomuch better if I go see her and follow her instructions. I was hopeful that her instructions would be to eat copious amounts of chocolate, hourly. That, I think would make me feel better.

Not surprisingly, the Nutritionist did not tell me to eat copious amounts of chocolate hourly. She told me to stay away from chocolate…and coffee…and sugar. It’s the trifecta of tasty goodness and I must not imbibe. However will I survive?

Know what I will be eating for the next 10 days? Fruit, and vegetables, and nuts, and that’s all. Oh and this stuff.



I put the flowers there to soften the blow. Powders and liquids and pills. I will be ingesting this reading all that, and not eating sugar or coffee or chocolate.

Lord help me. (I do not take the Lord’s name in vain, I am serious). I have not been off coffee since my last pregnancy some 10 odd years ago. Last time I tried to give up sugar and coffee it so stressed me out that I developed Shingles! (Yes, that is totally why I got Shingles!)

So, if things get a little snarky over the next 10 days here on the Hilltop, please bear with me as I try to kill the addictions detox my body in order to become healthier and more energetic. Because after 10 days all will be well…I’ll get to add meat back into the diet.

What I want to know is after the full 21 days can I have my sugar and my coffee and my chocolate back?

Every Day

I think I may be the only girl in all of America who does not like Valentine’s Day. It just feels so contrived to me. I mean yes, I love flowers and chocolates and date nights etc, but it means so much more if it’s done not out of expectation but out of the desire to make a person happy.

It all appears so perfunctory to me; flowers, dinner out, chocolate. How about flowers on a Tuesday in April? Or a card in July, for no reason but to express love?

That means so much more than the obligated, box of chocolates in my opinion. In fact, you know what’s really sexy to me? A man who gets up at oh dark hundred every day, no matter how tired he is and goes to work for his family. A man who makes an effort to call his mom and keep in touch. A man who brings his daughters a flower on their birthdays. A man who tells me he loves me with great regularity and no prompting. A man who makes sure the family car is always running and who checks the locks everynight before he goes to bed because he knows I always forget.

I don’t need a special day once a year to know what a great thing I have. So while I appreciate the history behind St. Valentine, I don’t need my husband to bring me chocolates or flowers one day a year to show me how much me loves me. He shows me every day.

Hello, Roxanne!

My cordless house phone has started doing something odd. It has started picking up a local radio station. We’ve had this cordless house phone for many years and I don’t recall ever hearing the radio in the background before now. We’ve not had a recent installation of a radio tower next to our house so I am not quite sure why, all of a sudden, I’m hearing music from my phone.

Honestly, at first I didn’t catch it. I thought those I was talking too had music playing in the background. It’s not loud, but it’s definitely there. Then I realized it odd that everyone I had talked to in the last few days had been listening to music, and even stranger than that, they had all been listening to the same station.

That is when it dawned on me that it was probably my phone. I picked up when no one was on the other end of the line and sure enough, radio.

This has gone from slightly annoying to downright distracting lately. I think it’s getting louder, and the music selection leaves something to be desired.

I was having this very distracting conversation with my Mother in Law yesterday…

Hi, Tricia.

Roxanne! You don't have to put on the red light.

Hi MIL,

Those days are over you don't have to sell you body to the night.

So are your and Sir D going to K & E’s baptism this Sunday?

Roxanne! You don't have to wear that dress tonight.

OF course! We wouldn’t miss it!

Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right.

Oh, wonderful, do you think FIL and I could ride with you?

Roxanne! You don't have to put on the red light.

Sure.

I loved you since I knew you. I wouldn't talk down to you.

Are you staying for the lunch afterwards?

I have to tell you just how I feel; I won't share you with another boy.

Yes, but we’ll have to leave pretty quickly after the lunch because of AWANA.

I know my mind is made up, so put away your makeup.

Oh, yes, sure. That will work for us.

Told you once I won't tell you again, It's a bad way.

It is so exciting that K & E are getting baptized isn’t it?

ROOOOOXANNE! You don't have to put on the red light!

Um, yes it is. I can’t wait for Sunday.

ROOOOOXANNE! You don't have to put on the red light!

Are you okay? You sound a little distracted?

ROOOOOXANNE! You don't have to put on the red light!

Yeah, yeah, fine. We’ll see you on Sunday.

ROOOOOXANNE! You don't have to put on the red light!

Okay, well, bye now.

ROOOOOXANNE! You don't have to put on the red light!

Yeah, Bye.

Lawsey Mercy! I’ve got to get a new phone. That was downright disturbing.

Where are my overactive white blood cells when I need them?

The blog’s been a little quiet lately because I’m sick. I HATE sick. I am rarely sick. I know , I know you are all thinking, strange hip pain\fibromyalgia\Primary Sjögren’s Syndrome anyone? See, those are all auto immune disorders, (and I don’t actually have Fibromyalgia, that was a misdiagnosis!) which is my white blood cells on crack attacking everything in its site whether it is good or bad. So, I rarely catch a cold or get the stomach bug. (Murphy’s Law states, after a statement like that, I’ll be vomiting by tomorrow)

I have a head cold to end all head colds. Even the nasal irrigator cannot help me now. It is simply impossible to get the saline solution up my nose. There is no room, filled as it is with, well, snot.

My throat hurts and is raw, my head is full, my nose is completely useless to me except to double as a faucet (how is it possible to be so stuffed up you can’t breathe and have snot running out of your nose at a constant drip at the same time I ask you?! It should be a physical impossibility!) and as if that were not enough, It has moved into my eyes and I now have pink eye.

Oh, Joy. I love pink eye. It is ever so ladylike to have eyes that look like I was out on a bender all night.

And today is my day to drive carpool downtown, sit for 2 hours in a waiting room, then drive back. That is going to be fun.

Oh, and on a happy note (because aren’t you totally depressed after reading that?) we paid off or Excursion yesterday!!! I LOVE being debt free! Of course, we’re on our way next weekend to buy our camper, so the debt free feeling will only last a little over a week, but I’ll enjoy in none the less.

Breaking News!

Did you see those pigs fly by? Do you feel the freezing air coming up though the crevices in the ground?

Yes, my friends I intentionally if not forcibly put salt water up my nose. I, the same girl who was teased mercilessly for holding my nose closed before even entering the water slide at Hurricane Harbor as a teen. The same girl who won’t go anywhere near the deep end without something securing my nostrils closed. And yet, after much prodding and cajoling from my friend S, I caved. I think it had something to do with utter desperation at my lack of ability to breathe.

Now, the nasal irrigator is not magic. I still have a whopper of a headache and overall feel lousy, but I can once again breathe through my nose, and that is almost worth intentionally inserting water into my nasal passageways.

So S, while I am not yet a convert. I am willing to try. Who would have ever thought such a thing would occur? Apparently nothing is impossible. Perhaps I should start working on the whole Israeli, Palestinian thing.

Just because I'm up at 4 does not make me a morning person!

It is 4 in the morning and I am awake. I sit in the living room illuminated only by the light of a candle and listen to the sound of the rain. I could wax poetic I suppose about the pitter patter of the rain or what a surprising amount of light one lone candle can produce in a still night darkened room. But I won’t because I’ve not had any coffee and I suspect when I do actually wake up sometime later today, I will find my words silly. And I won’t be drinking any coffee yet this morning, because I still hold out hope that my body will allow me a few more blessed hours of sleep sometime today.

I’m not sure why I’m awake. I suppose it has something to do with my utter inability to breathe. When the mountain cedar trees spew their evil pollen into the air really everyone suffers, but for some reason I am suffering more this year than I have in a long time. Mountain cedar is kicking me when I am down. Stinking mountain cedar.

I am also in a significant amount of pain. I have not noticed much benefit from the meds yet. Mostly I feel lousy, but last Tuesday I had a good day. I had minimal pain and had a little more energy than usual. I believe brighter days are ahead. In the meantime I take it one breath at a time. Literally.

Yesterday, when I was cutting up all the veggies and frying the meat for tacos, I sneezed about every 30 seconds. I was grossing myself out. Surely this has to be against some health code, right? I should not have been cooking! I am totally using that excuse today.

And by the way, it is not lost on me that my last post was about not being a morning person. If I believed in Fate I might be tempted to think she was messing with me.

A Morning Person I am Not.

I believe I have mentioned that I am not a morning person. My mornings usually go something like this. First I start making my way to awareness because someone is making some noise and turning on lights in the bathroom and the closet. First, I realize that man making noise must be husband, so I must be married. Then I realize he is getting dressed in fancy duds so it must be a weekday. Then I ask myself, should I be getting up too? What day is it? That is the hardest one. Usually at this point I am a bit more cognizant and can come up with what yesterday was. This morning for instance I realized it was Friday and thus not a day I had to get up. Oh Happy Friday! Then my mind starts going over what I have to do today.

It is at this point I remember that I have children. Children whom I have chosen to educate at home, though for the life of me, at 6ish in the morning I cannot fathom why I would have made this choice.

Sir D comes over and kisses me good-by. I must often have a confused look on my face because he usually chuckles and tells me he’ll call me later. (he knows coherent speech is not a viable option before I’ve had coffee)

And now’s the time for honesty. Once Sir D leaves and the lights are out again. I lie back down and fall back asleep. Eventually sometime between 7:30 and 8 I begin to hear the children downstairs getting breakfast and the whole process of waking up begins again; though because I’ve already done it once it’s a bit quicker process.

I make my way downstairs to my offspring with ALL THE VOICES and have some coffee. Copious amounts of coffee. Then and only then am I me; intelligent (work with me here!) woman capable of educating her children and keeping a house. Sadly it takes me until almost 9 am to reach this state of readiness.

Then around 9:30 Sir D calls me to say good morning, because he knows now I am awake and remember who I am and can speak in complete sentences.

Some Beauty

Morning Song

There’s a mellower light just over the hill,
And somewhere a yellower daffodil,
And honey, somewhere, that’s sweeter still.

And some were meant to stay like a stone,
Knowing the things they have always know,
Sinking down deeper into their own.

But some must follow the wind and me,
Who like to be starting and like to be free,
Never so glad as we’re going to be!
~ Karle Wilson Baker

I love the above poem. It describes my husband so beautifully. He is always ready for the next thing, the next adventure. Always ready to follow the wind and be free.

I am a sinking down deeper into their own kinda girl. Sir D has been dragging me with him on his adventures for 18 wonderful years now. I can't imagine how deep I would have sunk into myself without him to pull me around on his search for the yellower daffodil.

Strange Days Here on the Hilltop

Let me set the scene. The girls and I are sitting around the table diligently working on important and edifying tasks, or eating breakfast while I was on FaceBook, whatever. Bob was in his room dismantling his intricate stereo set up. I don’t know why, he just does these things from time to time. I can always tell he’s doing it because it sounds like someone is dismantling a small car in there. After a while the noises stopped and I heard his door open.

He walked into kitchen holding up a small baggie. Those living on the dark side might refer to this as a dime bag, though I’m pretty sure the actual monetary cost of this item is somewhat higher than a dime.

The little baggy, covered in dust and dirt, held what appeared to me to be not very well ground oregano. Because I am highly intelligent, I figured there was little to no reason someone would hide a baggie of oregano in their speakers, so it was probably something more potent and less legal than oregano.

We all stood around the kitchen table, in our pj’s, examining a bag of, you know. I have to tell you this is a situation in which I never expected to find myself.

“Is that what I think it is, Mom?”

“Um, yeah, I think it is what you think it is, Bob”

“What? What is it? What is it, Mom?” Ann says over and over.

Silent confusion from Eve.

It is at this point that the homeschooling mother began warring with the upstanding citizen who likes to, you know, not break the law.

Do we open it up and examine it? How cool would that be? We could look at under a microscope. “We’ll probably never get the chance to examine weed again!” says Homeschooling Me.

“Are you nuts? This stuff is illegal! The police are probably on their way to take you and you offspring to jail right now! GET RID OF IT!” shouts the Law Abiding Me.

Eventually, Cowardly Me won out and we stuck it on top of the refrigerator to ask Sir D about when he gets home. That is my life’s motto after-all. Let Sir D Figure It Out.

The most amusing thing about this story, even more amusing than a homeschooling family contemplating using not-quite-oregano as a science experiment, is the fact that the speakers the baggie of contraband was found in, was originally donated to the mission organization across the street! I guess they donated a little more than they intended too.





***I thought I should mention, lest there are any, oh say, DEA agents that read my blog, that the oregano was properly disposed of down the toilet, and is no longer on the premises.***

Bleck!

Today is my anniversary and I feel like vomiting. The two are, happily enough, unrelated. Sir D and I are celebrating 18 years of happily ever after. Though not really. Today is the official day, but we’re going to celebrate in a couple of weeks when we’re going away for the weekend.

I feel like vomiting because the new medicine I’m on for the Strange Sounding Sjörgren Syndrome (heretofore known as SSSS) makes me nauseous. And tired. Very tired. And dizzy. And lightheaded. Also, it makes me allergic to laundry. Kidding, wish that were true. Also, it takes 2 to 6 months to be effective. So right now, the cure is worse than the disease. I am hoping that changes. Soon.