Strange Days Here on the Hilltop

Let me set the scene. The girls and I are sitting around the table diligently working on important and edifying tasks, or eating breakfast while I was on FaceBook, whatever. Bob was in his room dismantling his intricate stereo set up. I don’t know why, he just does these things from time to time. I can always tell he’s doing it because it sounds like someone is dismantling a small car in there. After a while the noises stopped and I heard his door open.

He walked into kitchen holding up a small baggie. Those living on the dark side might refer to this as a dime bag, though I’m pretty sure the actual monetary cost of this item is somewhat higher than a dime.

The little baggy, covered in dust and dirt, held what appeared to me to be not very well ground oregano. Because I am highly intelligent, I figured there was little to no reason someone would hide a baggie of oregano in their speakers, so it was probably something more potent and less legal than oregano.

We all stood around the kitchen table, in our pj’s, examining a bag of, you know. I have to tell you this is a situation in which I never expected to find myself.

“Is that what I think it is, Mom?”

“Um, yeah, I think it is what you think it is, Bob”

“What? What is it? What is it, Mom?” Ann says over and over.

Silent confusion from Eve.

It is at this point that the homeschooling mother began warring with the upstanding citizen who likes to, you know, not break the law.

Do we open it up and examine it? How cool would that be? We could look at under a microscope. “We’ll probably never get the chance to examine weed again!” says Homeschooling Me.

“Are you nuts? This stuff is illegal! The police are probably on their way to take you and you offspring to jail right now! GET RID OF IT!” shouts the Law Abiding Me.

Eventually, Cowardly Me won out and we stuck it on top of the refrigerator to ask Sir D about when he gets home. That is my life’s motto after-all. Let Sir D Figure It Out.

The most amusing thing about this story, even more amusing than a homeschooling family contemplating using not-quite-oregano as a science experiment, is the fact that the speakers the baggie of contraband was found in, was originally donated to the mission organization across the street! I guess they donated a little more than they intended too.





***I thought I should mention, lest there are any, oh say, DEA agents that read my blog, that the oregano was properly disposed of down the toilet, and is no longer on the premises.***