Shaving and Baby Snot.

I got a new razor a few weeks ago in the mail. It was a Gillette Venus Breeze. It is the kind where you don’t need any shaving gel when you use it because it has it built in. Sound familiar?



AHHHH the Intuition, she was my first love. A razor that did not cut me and leave me with little, and oh so attractive, red dots all over my legs.

I would never have strayed except that the clever Gillette Company sent this free new razor to my door. I do know that I am not special, and they sent it to everyone. I understand their marketing practices. They send you the razor for free because you’re going to spend what amounts to the US national debt buying the refills.
So my beloved Intuition went to the back of the shelf and out came the new kid on the block.

So here’s the thing, I like it…sort of. It works as well as my beloved Intuition. It does not leave those ghastly little red bumps all over my legs, but it has a problem. A texture problem if you will.

Do you remember when you had little babies? You know that clear snot that seems to be constantly running out of their little heads for the entirety of allergy season, which consequently, is year round in Texas. That is what happens to those little gel bars on the Gillette Venus Breeze. It took me a while, but I finally figured out why I was totally grossed out by that slimy substance I was smearing my legs with, and why I felt compelled to rock it to sleep before I put back in its case.

That stuff turns into baby snot when you get it wet. Don’t believe me? Get a 6 month old baby in Tx in July, now compare it to a wet Gillette Venus Breeze; exact same stuff! If only I’d known the Gillette Company was collecting it. I could have made a fortune. My kids produced the stuff by the gallon.

But sadly, I am out of the baby stage now and I have absolutely no desire to come in contact with anything resembling baby snot.

Goodbye Gillette Venus Breeze, I knew you well.

And Schick Intuition, will you take me back? I’ll never stray again!