Office of Parental Revocation

Could someone please tell me where I need to go to turn in my parenting card? I do believe it has been revoked. If not, it should be.

Will failed his algebra test today. Sadly this is not the first time. The thing is, it was an OPEN BOOK test. How does one fail an open book test? Not only did he fail it, but he seemed surprised that he failed. He told me he thought he did well on it. So again, how does one fail an OPEN BOOK test and not even know it? His tutor is going to call me tonight. I can feel her judgment. I know she must be wondering what kind of parents we are.

I also got a call from the head of the Dyslexia lab about Ann. Ann forgot to give the note I sent, to her teacher. Ann currently looks awful. While she is clean and polished and her hair is done and her clothes are clean, matching, and appropriate to the season, she still looks like no one is taking care of her.

She is still coughing, and now one of her eyes is all bloody. She burst a blood vessel in her eye coughing so much. The Dr. said it was no big deal; it will go away on its own. But it just looks awful.

Also, she’s going around telling everyone she has Whooping Cough. And let me tell you, she looks like she has some sort of previously-thought-to-be-eradicated childhood disease.

So the director was understandably concerned when she heard Ann saying she had Whooping Cough and there was no explanation from mom. I had to explain to her when she called, that yes, it was most likely Whooping Cough, though it had not been confirmed through testing because the lab tech did not take a sufficient swab of her nasal passages when we schlepped all the way downtown on a Saturday morning to get this joyful little procedure done. And that even if it was confirmed, she is no longer contagious so says the Dr. that we have seen no less than 3 times in 2 weeks. Although, yes she probably was contagious for whooping cough earlier when I was indeed sending her to class, because the Dr. assured me, at that time, that it was just allergies and she was okay to go to school.

Just call me Mary, Typhoid Mary.

So if someone could please direct me to the Office of Parental Revocation, I’d appreciate it. Or you know, if any one else would like to lodge a complaint against my parenting technique, or complain about one of my children, please take a number.