Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Coke Zero, Anyone?

I have a story to share, A little self deprecation, just for you.

I was driving home from Scottish Rite today…actually, I must go back further. It really began with the coke machine. I am about to pay $1.25 for a Coke Zero. I have a whole case of Coke Zero’s at home, but I forgot to bring one. So, here I am about to pay an exorbitant price for something I already have; brilliant I know, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

I put in my money, and hit the Coke Zero button…nothing. I hit it again, several times in fact. Nothing. Okay, I’m a reasonable person. I can deal with regular Diet Coke. I hit that button…nothing. I decide to just wait till I get home for my Diet Coke fix and hit the money return button, you guessed it…nothing.

So I get a Sprite. I am not a huge fan of Sprite, but it was that or the scary orange or grape drinks. I really didn’t want the Sprite so I put it in my wheelie box and head to the lobby to do some school planning.

On my way back up to pick up the kids, I stop at the gift shop to make up for my loss of Diet Coke, and I buy myself some chocolate. It is not lost on me that it is 9:30 am and I am attempting to drink Diet Coke and eat chocolate, but that is for another post.

After walking up to the Dyslexia Lab to pick up the kids, then back through the hospital and out through the parking garage to the parking lot on the other side (my 12 passenger van is too tall for the parking garage) we finally load up and head home.

As I am entering the highway on the short entrance ramp and trying to merge with the other one billion people in Downtown Dallas, who, by the way, all drive SUV’s or Extended Cab Diesel Ford Trucks and are driving 90 mph, I decide to go ahead and take a sip of my Sprite. I need something to wash down the chocolate after-all.

This is the same bottle of Sprite that has been bouncing around in my wheelie cart for the last hour. I open the twisty lid and put the tip of the bottle to my lips, all while merging and keeping my eye on the road. I do have precious cargo in this van you know.

Because of my conscientious driving, I failed to notice that the Sprite was fizzing over the top until I felt the cold sticky substance ALL THE WAY DOWN MY SHIRT! I literally poured at least a cup of Sprite down my shirt…while merging onto the highway-from-hell.

I want you to know that I did this without swerving in the least and managing to merge gracefully onto the highway-from-hell, between all the SUV’s, Ford Super Duty’s and Semis, like a pro.

People, I’m ready for NASCAR!


Kathleen aka Coffee Mom said...

I'm proud of you! We homeschool moms are the greatest multi taskers around, even on the freeway!

Sheri said...

LOL...and so your lesson of the day?

nsremom said...

How funny. Two car comments in two posts. I'm just now catching up.

I'm living on an island in the pacific northwest and people drive SOOOOOO slow. It's road rage everyday I tell you. I've had to literally pray to not scream. (kids have big ears) I have been stuck being people going 20 miles under the speed limit. For MILES. UGH.

The pop exploded on your shirt and you didn't flinch? Now that's a mom for ya.

Jenny in Ca said...

ohhh!!! and it wasn't even a diet coke!! oh the humanity of it all!!

yes, I start my day always with a diet coke, and often with both diet coke and chocolate...I can totally relate to this post.

you are a rock, sticky soda down your shirt and not a flinch!!