Church Shoes

Today I took my kids, ALL 4 of them, to Wal-mart. The boys needed church shoes. Not for church, they don’t wear church shoes to church anymore because I have experienced spiritual growth in this area and have decided to not care. If they want to look all raggedy in their cargo shorts and flip flops like all the other kids in the youth group, go right ahead, I don’t care anymore. Really, I don’t. Really.

However my cousin is getting married on Saturday and all my family will be there. Apparently I have not experienced as much spiritual growth as I had previously thought, because my boys are NOT wearing their raggedy old cargo shorts and flip flops to the wedding.

I am not worried about my girls; I think we have enough church dresses and pretty little paten lather shoes to dress a gaggle of girls. I am also not worried about my husband because while he hates to dress up and he does not do it often, he had some regional meetings this week that he had to do the whole suit coat and tie thing. He had to go out and buy a new outfit (do men call them outfits?) for the meetings. On a side note my wonderful husband and I are not quite the same size we were last year and sadly the number got bigger not smaller, but that is another post.

So back to the boys. I know they have nice attire to wear. They don’t really mind wearing a nice polo style shirt and khaki pants. What they do mind are the shoes. So off we went to Wal-Mart. My theory was that if we could find shoes we both like, maybe they’ll actually wear them again. I know, how naive, but it sounded good at the time. So there we are in Wal-Mart and my girls, being…well, girls, tried on every shoe in the store in their size and found about ten pair they just had to have. I did stand firm here ladies and gentlemen. NO new shoes for the girls until we go through aaaallllllll the old ones.

While the girls are in shoe heaven, the boys are in…well you get the idea. No shoes in the place were acceptable. After a while my oldest found a pair he said would do. What this means is that he was willing to wear the pair of awful shoes he found to one wedding, if it meant we could STOP shopping and go home. We both knew, no matter what he said, these shoes would never grace his cute little size 11 feet again after their maiden and mandatory voyage to the wedding. At this point, I was willing too. So he bought those and we went to the car.

My wonderful son #2 has wide feet. Really wide feet. So no shoes in all of Wal-Mart were able to accommodate the bricks that are attached to the bottom of his legs. So, as if Wal-Mart with all 4 was not bad enough, we went to Payless. In Payless the lovely salesperson offered to measure his feet. I accepted. Size 8 and ½ . Regular. What? NO way. His feet are wide, I tell her. Hummmm. The thingy must be rigged. So off we go to the size 8 and ½ section. I’ll tell you right here and now ladies and gentleman. His feet are a solid 10. NOT 8 and ½ . So after trying on every “tolerable” shoe in the sizes 8 through 10 we come upon a pair he can live with. O Happy Day!

I go to find my girls who have now tried on every shoe in Payless that is their size and added about 10 more pairs to their must-have list, I say “no, no, no we are not getting anymore shoes, remember?” about 10 times and we get in line. When it is finally our turn, the salesperson asks me if I’m sure I’d not like to get another pair, it is buy one get one half off. Well, NOW you tell me. As my girls (BOTH of them) stare up at me pleadingly, I say NO, because, hay, I’m not about to start world war 3 between my girls, and really I just wanted to go home.

So she gives me the total. $40! Yes, you read that right $40 at Payless. For shoes for a 12yob. Shoes that we all know, no matter how much we try to delude ourselves, he will never wear again. What is a girl to do? I simply CAN’T shop with these kids anymore. I CAN’T do it again tomorrow, and I CAN’T buy my 12yo destructo son shoes costing $40!!

The people behind me are starting to groan. My kids are wishing the ground would open up and swallow them up, as I ask the sales lady, IN THE NICEST VOICE I CAN MUSTER, why these shoes at Payless were so expensive. She gives me a blank stare. How in the world would she know? She is only there from 8 to 1 to pay for her college classes. She has no idea, nor does she care. (All this I am surmising from the blank stare.)

So after more groaning and appalled looks from my children, I bought the shoes. All forty-stinking-dollars of them.

Want to see what $40 will get you at payless? Here you go.

I think you will probably be able to find some, just like this, cheap on Ebay real soon!