That’s so…Walmart

I’d like to meet the marketing genius who came up with this idea.

See Raven in person at the following Walmart locations!

I might need to add here that when I asked what all the commotion was about, I was told by several giggly girls, that “‘Raven’ was here!”



“Raven?” I ask. “What the heck is a raven? Like the bird?” (Yes, apparently I do live under a rock.)




I had to come home and google her as I was pretty sure all these people were not here to see a black bird. And anyway, all the black birds were in the parking lot feasting on discarded French fries.



Really, isn’t Walmart, two days before all the major local school districts start, crazy enough? I mean the place is filled with baffled moms carrying around pages and pages of ‘must have’s and wandering around the place wondering why the American brand pencil, model #334, is only acceptable for 5th grade, but not for 2nd. And really, how much hand sanitizer can a classroom full of 7th graders use anyway?

But no, that is not enough chaos for Walmart. They thought they should bring in a celebrity so everyone under 13 MUST GO SEE THE RAVEN AT THE WALMART!

The line snaked up and down several isles, and out the door.

I mean! For all that is good and holy, why? Why torment the mothers? We are your bread and butter! WalMart, without the preteen idol of the minute, is like hell only with air conditioning. Must you make us descend to deeper and might I say, more chaotic levels of hell?

I know I’ve said this before Walmart, and your cheap prices always woo me back. But Walmart? I think I really do have to break up with you. You wound me too deeply for me to continue in this self destructive relationship.