Speed!

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
- Dudley Moore



This quote was on my homepage to day. It cracked me up. Sadly it is so true.

I must admit I am a bit of a speeder. I find the speed limit to be monotonous. I hate monotony. And anyway, this is DFW; you take your life into your hands if you plan to drive the speed limit.

We have a very detailed system here. The far left lane is for serious speeders; those who will run you over if you are in their way. I believe these people are pilots who are on their way home from DFW airport and have been flying a plane and can’t stand how SLOW cars are.

The next lane over is for recreational speeders. We just want to go a little over the speed limit because 65? Really?

Then there is the drive the speed limit lane. These are law abiding, letter of the law people; or those who cannot get another ticket without being arrested or having their insurance carrier drop them. Poor souls.

Then there is the slow lane. This lane frightens me. It is full of grandma’s and grandpa’s who are frightened of speed. They consistently drive under the speed limit. Can you imagine? Sadly, this is the lane everyone must pass through to get to the faster lanes when entering the highway. It’s like playing Frogger, trying to leap from the geriatric lane to the faster lanes.

The thing is, while I drive a bit fast. I haven’t gotten a ticket in about 15 years. I have always driven old clunker cars that do not appear to go fast. Then I got the 12 passenger van. I can’t tell you how many times I have accidently sped past a cop doing traffic and they do a double take at their little speed detector, smack it, and shake their heads and go back to watching the traffic. They simply did not believe that my white box on wheels was capable of speed.

The times have changed however. I now drive a big beast of a car. It exudes power. It’s loud and big and beautiful. It screams ‘I can go faster than you!’

I no longer look like I am incapable of speed. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am going to have to slow down. Or perhaps put a sticker of a cop car on my rear view mirror or before I know it, I’ll have to drive in the non speeding lane with the other poor souls.